Monday, April 30, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
We got a screen door! A screen door for our front door so we can get some f*@$ing breeze in the house (none of our front windows open)!!! Woo-hoo!*
Also this morning the Zacker got his head stuck in a big yogurt container while licking the sides and bottom of it (the yogurt's good for his tummy). I was busy doing something else and didn't realize anything had happened until I heard thunk, thunk. I turned around and little man was lightly banging his yogurt-containered head against a counter, trying to dislodge himself. I was partly horrified for him and partly thought it was hilarious. And his little face was just covered in yogurt when I got the thing off him.
And now, here's a partial transcript of the chat Aa and I had when I told him the yogurt story:
me:zack got his head stuck in the yogurt container this morning.
Aaron: or..."Why is it all white?"
*Since this blog is supposed to be about the minty I thought I'd write something house-related.
**Zack is afraid of plastic bags and garden statues, particularly gnomes.
Posted by MintyJ at 4:01 PM
Monday, April 23, 2007
So today on the radio show I produce, I came up with THE. BEST. MUSIC. TRANSITION. EVER. Seriously. It was a transition between a discussion on the state legislature, whose 2007 session ended last night, and a political party in Scotland that's advocating for independence from England who're likely to win in the upcoming Scottish elections. Now I knwe what you're thinking. You're thinking, "My God Jeannie, how in God's name did you come up with a piece of music to segue between such massively disparate topics?!" I know, it's insane! So what did I do? I hope you're sitting down because this will knock the standing power right out of your legs it's so great. So the transition I used was the open to the Proclaimers' song "Over And Done With". This is scorchingly brilliant because
1. The Proclaimers are Scottish.
2. The legislative session is, well, over and done with.
3. If this Scottish pro-independence party wins the election, Scotland's being part of England is ALSO OVER AND DONE WITH. DO YOU SEE NOW?!
There's no way I'm coming up with any better idea this week. Possibly ever in my life. So, whatever, I'm not coming in to work the rest of this week. Why bother? I peaked already.
Posted by MintyJ at 3:50 PM
Thursday, April 12, 2007
You know what it is about Kurt Vonnegut's writing? The first time I read it I felt like, oh yeah, that's exactly right. That makes perfect sense to me. Even the ranty stuff of his later years gave me that same feeling. It was so great to read his stuff because of that, it kind of felt like coming home a little bit. You know what I mean? Very few writers make me feel that way - I can't think of any others offhand, not even in my top three.*, **
Also, I didn't care about stupid Don Imus and then CBS Radio fired him and all of a sudden I started caring and got real fucking happy.
*Salman Rushdie, James Baldwin, Zora Neale Hurston
**Why is Kurt Vonnegut not in my top three considering how his writing makes me feel? What the hell?
Posted by MintyJ at 5:39 PM
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Wherein I'm an evil asshole and exhausted from sleeping OR I have a blog now! So you have to read about my dreams and imagined slights by baristas etc
I dreamt last night that I was somehow included in this weird military cabal where we were discussing what to do about the dinosaurs roaming the earth and messing everything up. There was particular concern about Tyrannosaurus Rexes (or is it "Tyrannousaruses Rex" like "attorneys general"? anyway) and what havoc they were wreaking in large cities. I remember feeling distinctly terrified, and also I remember Brontosauruses, who were not wreaking havoc. They were just eating leaves and scaring people and stuff. Someone at the military cabal table took pains to point that out. And there was one scary military dude who sat at the head of the table, and he did the evil guy finger configuration – you know the one where you splay your fingers and touch all your fingertips together – and said, “If we just let them destroy the earth, then there will be nothing left…MWAHAHAHA”. And I was both terrified and intrigued. We let the dinosaurs go nuts for a while, and then when the chaos is over and despair has swept in, we destroy the fat and lazy dinosaurs and become heroes. Think about how easily we could take over the newly destroyed world!
So then that part of the dream ends. And I wake up in my dream, and I am in bed. And I wake Aa up and tell him about my dream. Then I walk the Zacker and come home and get on my laptop (dream trick! don't have one) and blog about the crazy dinosaur / world domination / evil military / me becoming some power-hungry secret cabal member dream. Then I read some other blogs. And weird! One of the blogs I read has a story on it about A DREAM THE WRITER HAD ABOUT DINOSAURS WREAKING HAVOC ON THE PLANET. So I am instantaneously and dreamworld-ly transported to some place with tables and chairs and mugs and she (blogger) is there and says “hey! That’s so weird! I had a dream about the dinosaurs wreaking havoc too!” And I’m like, “That’s so totally fucked up! Did your dream include a weird military cabal?”
And then I think my alarm actually went off and I woke up for real, feeling like I got no sleep whatsoever. So then I lay in my bed, Zack sprawled across my torso, trying to figure out what sweet fuck-all went on in my head last night. I think I have it figured out. I’m obsessed with this cartoon Metalocalypse, which explains the weird scary all-powerful cabal. I’m also watching the entire series of The Sopranos, which I think has something to do with this but I don’t know what yet. Maybe New Jersey Mafioso = dinosaurs? And I saw my friend the blogger earlier yesterday. Uh...there it is. Yep
(also weird was this dream I had a couple weeks ago about two co-workers of mine cracking each other up by making really specifically denigrating comments about commercial country music – like one would say “the pedal steel is so STERILE on Shania Twain’s last two albums!” and the other one would be like doubled over in laughter, slapping her thigh and going “I know!” Maybe I need to stop eating cheese or something?)
Posted by MintyJ at 4:53 PM
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
For the second day in a row, we’re all getting up at 4:45 in the morning. This morning, it’s so we can see the sun rise on Macchu Picchu. I’m not terribly excited about heading up there. Even though I’ve been told how amazing it is, and how I shouldn’t miss it, I can’t help but feel it’s going to be an annoying touristy experience. I’m hoping the early visit will cut down on the crowds.
We head down to the bus stop to catch the 5:30 bus, the first bus up the mountain. We blink at each other in the early-morning darkness and tiredly chew the bananas we grabbed from the hotel lobby. Despite the early hour, the bus fills up to capacity. I am wedged between Aa and some guy who needs a shower. I spend the whole ride wishing him ill for his poor hygeine. Heading up the mountain, we see people wearing garbage bags hiking up and watch the rain hit the windows. After some unspecified time, the bus stops and the doors open. We’re there, apparently.
We stumble out of the bus and head to the front door. It’s still mostly dark out. We can see the very expensive hotel just to our right. Then we enter the park. For a while it kind of looks like Ireland – green and misty and hilly, with stone buildings. I don’t know exactly when it stops looking like Ireland or anyplace I’ve ever been before. ..But the sun is rising and the clouds are moving around us, obscuring some things and revealing others. The landscape is changing every minute. I look down and it's suddenly clear enough to see all the way to the valley and the river below. I look up and there’s another mountain, with a thin trail of stone stairs snaking up one side Nobody’s really talking, including me. Then I understand that the mountain I’m on isn’t really a mountain anymore. At its peak, it’s been dug out and flattened by hand. Plateaus were built for farming. Stones were hauled up and fitted together without cement or mud to build temples and houses. People lived and ate and fought had babies and died here. How strange that I ever thought getting in a bus before dawn was some big deal
Monday, April 09, 2007
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Cindy and I land in Lima and Rafael picks us up. Aa comes in two days later. It's close to 1 in the morning, and Cindy and I are giddy, exhausted, and greasy from travelling for so long. We check into our hotel and notice the lively dive bar across the street. Cindy and I look at each other. Are we too tired for a beer? We go back and forth until we finally decide to flip a coin. I'm so tired I accidentally throw the coin on top of a shelf. I get it right the second time, and the coin tells us to stay in. "How disappointing!" I say. Cindy starts laughing and says we don't need to let the coin actually decide for us. I realize she's right. Fuck the coin! So I grab my sweater and we head across the street. I order Cusquenas for us, which gets a nod of approval from Raf. We drink and laugh and drink some more and laugh some more, then we head to another bar with a dance floor. There we laugh at the dancers and drink more. We finally stumble back to the hotel around 6 am. Drunk, happy, exhausted, I text Aa, but my phone doesn't work in other countries so the message won't send.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Monday, April 02, 2007
We're checking into our hotel in Aguas Calientes, which is where you stay when you go to Macchu Picchu. It's me (clearly not Peruvian), Aaron (so totally not Peruvian), Cindy (blonde and blue-eyed, so not Peruvian), and Rafael (Peruvian). Two younger, pretty women are checking us in. As Aaron and I converse with one young woman in our craptastic Spanish, the other sidles over to Rafael and mumbles, "we have massages, sir". Cindy, who speaks Spanish fluently, overhears. Rafael knows Cindy's heard the proposition and looks over at her, wide-eyed. He moves closer to Cindy and ignores the young woman. The young woman doesn't get the hint; every time we stop at the desk she sidles over to Rafael and reminds him of the special service the hotel provides customers who may need a break from their white tourist friends.