Robert Goulet Is Dead

Long live Robert Goulet.

It's official

I'm back on coffee. Stop the goddamn press.

Not always quiet

Friends of ours often talk about how quiet Zack is. And he is, for sure. But most dogs who are his breed are definitely chattier, even though they don't bark. For example:

On Regret

I've been thinking a lot about regret the past few days. Mainly I've been thinking about people I decided to cut out of my life ten years ago. I thought I was doing it for good reasons, and I think I probably made the best decision I could at the time. But here's what I regret. I regret that at 23 I never considered that when you stop talking to someone, you lose time and conversations with that person, and that loss might one day be painful and will most likely not be time you can make up for. I regret that for the past ten years I've been having dreams about talking with these people, but I never tried getting back in touch.

I don't know if I would have done anything differently and I certainly don't think I could have expected a different outcome if I had done something else. Aa said recently that regret's just a movie you play yourself, a movie of events that don't have much connection to the way things actually are. I kind of like that way of looking at it. And thinking about it that way, as well as reflecting on my feelings and asking what it is I really regret, makes me feel better. Or at least it makes me feel less heavy. And that's good.

Meanwhile, in Chicago

I went out for a run and it was sunny. I noticed some rumbling in the distance but didn't pay any attention. 15 minutes later I was being drenched by rain blowing in from everyplace. I felt like a stud for running through it. Then there was a lightning crash, which was cool. I saw a rainbow. And then there was another lightning crash - it appeared to be much closer. It lit up the sky and scared the shit out of me. So I turned around and sprinted the fuck back to my parents' house. I was gone about 25 minutes total. Um, today was a speedwork day.

It's currently pounding rain and thunder and howling wind here.

Wind Storm My Ass

I'm sorry...but this does not a storm make.

And not to be mister "well, in chicago...blah blah" all of the time...but COME ON PEOPLE...its this windy all fall back home in the Great State of Lincoln.

okay. less coffee...more tea.

PS Zack, our dog, is still cuter than ever.

Yesterday I got back from a kind of whirlwind visit in Chicago, including my cousin Sarah's fun but ill-timed wedding (the reception was the same time as Game 3 of the Cubs-Diamondbacks postseason series, which was being played at Wrigley Field). A couple family members kept disappearing to check the score and then getting more and more sullen. (They lost, for those of you who don't know. 3 games in a row. Fast fast fast. oh vee ee are. Depressing.) And today I've listened to A Dying Cub Fan's Last Request 5 times today. I just can't seem to stop.

Possibly related to my repeated listens to the same goddamn song: last night I couldn't turn my brain off - I think I finally fell asleep around 4 am or so. And today I have a more-than-12-hour day at work. At some unspecified point in the future I get to go to sleep. Sleep sleep sleep. Oh sleep, how I simultaneously desire you and resent you. Sleep, you wonderfully elusive fickle slutbag temptress.

Cold, Day 5 or 6

I'm sick at home today. I was sick yesterday and Sunday too. I have a craptastic cold that I fought for a good two weeks. But the cold won. Holy crap, did the cold win. I sound like a frog and my head is killing me, no matter how much sleep I get or how much fluid I drink. IT SUCKS. And tomorrow I have to get on a plane. Fun! This is almost exactly what Aa did before he left for Illinois a couple weeks ago. I'm heading out to attend my cousin's wedding. And last night I had a vivd, NyQuil-fueled dream that her wedding reception basically turned into a reunion for my 8th grade class. It was really fun, although I did wonder in the dream how my cousin Sarah knew, like, Kerri Ciancio or Kendrick Hall.