Wednesday, May 20, 2009

URBAN PHANTOM

That's what the Department of Fish and Wildlife is calling a small, 2-yr old black bear that's been wandering around North Seattle and Shoreline since late Sunday night / early Monday morning. He was first spotted in Ballard, probably a dozen blocks from our house. Nevertheless, once I learned that there was a bear in the neighborhood, I was utterly convinced that he and Zack would somehow get into some kind of terrifying but then suddenly cuddly confrontation. Of course, I was wrong about both the confrontation and, yes, fine, the idea that suddenly an adolescent bear and my dog would somehow recognize the latent potential friendship in the other and express that recognition by snuggling.

Anyway, so the bear (URBAN PHANTOM) has been winding his way up from my neighborhood into Shoreline, immediately north of the Seattle city limits. News coverage has died off somewhat. But that Monday, day 1 of URBAN PHANTOM WATCH, was pretty fun. All 5 of the televisions in the newsroom were on local news stations. All day I got to watch our local television newscasters do their own version of Brian Fantana from Anchorman.

And here is an example of how the Internet has broken my heart today because the Internet does not have any video of Brian Fantana's excellent reportage on the pregnant panda at the San Diego Zoo. So, here is a transcription of some of that reporting:

Ron Burgundy: Let's go to Brian Fantana who's live on the scene with a Channel 4 News exclusive. Brian?
Brian Fantana: Panda Watch. The mood is tense; I have been on some serious, serious reports but nothing quite like this. I uh... Ching... King is inside right now. I tried to get an interview with him, but they said no, you can't do that he's a live bear, he will literally rip your face off.
[to the Panda]
Brian Fantana: Hey, you're making me look stupid. Get out here, Panda Jerk.
Ron Burgundy: Great story. Compelling, and rich.

And, just because I love the two of you who still read this (hello, Mary Kate and Josh!), here is weatherman Brick Tamlan killing someone with a trident during a News Team street fight (Brian is briefly featured here).



Back to URBAN PHANTOM. At this point, the authorities have suspended their search because URBAN PHANTOM has proven to be pretty harmless. Which, duh, because all he wanted to do is cuddle with my dog. Except he keeps moving further away from my house. He's making me look stupid. Black Bear Jerk.

Also, just allow me to add that I know I have been spotty about posting. Kind of lost interest for a while there, and there was some other stuff too. (Ah, the other stuff. Always the other stuff!) But I'm working my way back. To you, babe. With a...well, not a burning love inside. More like a...higher level of commitment to posting regularly. Inside. Dooh dooh, dooh duh dooh!

2 comments:

C-n-C said...

I still read it, too!

MintyJ said...

Yay! I'm glad.