Sunday, May 31, 2009

Me And Dates And Craziness

Over Memorial Day weekend, Aa and I had our 9th anniversary of being-togetherness. It's the one anniversary date I always remember. At this point, we have three:

-the getting-togetherversary (which we placed, after some discussion, on Memorial Day)
-the anniversary of our actual legal marriage (the date of which is under frequent discussion; currently, Aa thinks that date's in late August, and I think it's in early October. There is a marriage license in our house that can settle this discussion, but I rather enjoy how we can never seem to remember exactly what day it was)
-the anniversary of our wedding, which is September 25th and is also my parents' wedding anniversary (which I of course did not realize because I suck at remembering dates)

It is this inability to remember dates that I've been thinking about this week. Here are some of the dates I've messed up in recent memory:

-my dad's birthday (like two years in a row)
-my mom's birthday (it is the same week as Thanksgiving. That's all I got.)
-the day I got legally married
-Zack's Gotcha Day (in fact I didn't even realize this was a thing till like a year ago)
-Zack's birthday (again, didn't realize it was a thing till I went to a couple of dog birthday parties - which are just excuses for a barbecue or whatever but with more dogs and fancier dog treats)

I probably shouldn't list my parents' birthdays in with a couple of basically made-up celebrations for a creature who couldn't care less. And really, it's not hard to set up a reminder so I never screw up my folks' birthdays again (sorry, guys).

But it does occur to me that I've been carrying around some weird guilt for not remembering, like, the date we decided to keep Zack. That it somehow means I'm not a good dog owner. Because my brain is slow, it just this past week occurred to me that I don't have to feel anything about this. People can celebrate whatever they want to with and for their pets. I'm already anthropomorphizing my dog plenty. We dress the same. He does not care if he has a birthday party. This means I don't have to care either. So I am absolving myself of this goofy-ass guilt that I have been carrying around.

And I am setting up some Google calendar reminders for the birthdays of the humans in my life.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


That's what the Department of Fish and Wildlife is calling a small, 2-yr old black bear that's been wandering around North Seattle and Shoreline since late Sunday night / early Monday morning. He was first spotted in Ballard, probably a dozen blocks from our house. Nevertheless, once I learned that there was a bear in the neighborhood, I was utterly convinced that he and Zack would somehow get into some kind of terrifying but then suddenly cuddly confrontation. Of course, I was wrong about both the confrontation and, yes, fine, the idea that suddenly an adolescent bear and my dog would somehow recognize the latent potential friendship in the other and express that recognition by snuggling.

Anyway, so the bear (URBAN PHANTOM) has been winding his way up from my neighborhood into Shoreline, immediately north of the Seattle city limits. News coverage has died off somewhat. But that Monday, day 1 of URBAN PHANTOM WATCH, was pretty fun. All 5 of the televisions in the newsroom were on local news stations. All day I got to watch our local television newscasters do their own version of Brian Fantana from Anchorman.

And here is an example of how the Internet has broken my heart today because the Internet does not have any video of Brian Fantana's excellent reportage on the pregnant panda at the San Diego Zoo. So, here is a transcription of some of that reporting:

Ron Burgundy: Let's go to Brian Fantana who's live on the scene with a Channel 4 News exclusive. Brian?
Brian Fantana: Panda Watch. The mood is tense; I have been on some serious, serious reports but nothing quite like this. I uh... Ching... King is inside right now. I tried to get an interview with him, but they said no, you can't do that he's a live bear, he will literally rip your face off.
[to the Panda]
Brian Fantana: Hey, you're making me look stupid. Get out here, Panda Jerk.
Ron Burgundy: Great story. Compelling, and rich.

And, just because I love the two of you who still read this (hello, Mary Kate and Josh!), here is weatherman Brick Tamlan killing someone with a trident during a News Team street fight (Brian is briefly featured here).

Back to URBAN PHANTOM. At this point, the authorities have suspended their search because URBAN PHANTOM has proven to be pretty harmless. Which, duh, because all he wanted to do is cuddle with my dog. Except he keeps moving further away from my house. He's making me look stupid. Black Bear Jerk.

Also, just allow me to add that I know I have been spotty about posting. Kind of lost interest for a while there, and there was some other stuff too. (Ah, the other stuff. Always the other stuff!) But I'm working my way back. To you, babe. With a...well, not a burning love inside. More like a...higher level of commitment to posting regularly. Inside. Dooh dooh, dooh duh dooh!

Saturday, May 02, 2009

Becoming what I hate most

OK, that's a bit of an exaggeration.

Instead, let's say I've become the kind of person I used to find mild-to-medium annoying. (If we were ordering Thai food, I'd say 1 to 2 stars annoying.) I've become the kind of person who will blow off an actual, live, person-to-person conversation to futz around on my neato G1. And since much of my free time is spent with Aa, it means I'm kind of blowing off conversations with him.

But allow me to give some context here! For a few years now, Aa's had some kind of smart phone. It'd allow him to check email / text / whatevs pretty much anytime. While we were out at dinner. First thing in the morning, in bed. While driving. Meanwhile, before the G1, I had the same phone for like 4 years - one that could barely handle text messaging. And now, for the first time, I don't have a phone. I have a smart phone too. HA! So those years of sitting forlornly across the table from Aa while he types away on his impossibly tiny keyboard are over. Because NOW I CAN DO IT RIGHT BACK. It's resentment tech. Vengeance tech. Yeah.

Look, I'm not saying it's nice to do this to your partner - or anyone else, for that matter. I know it's not nice. I know it's rude and annoying. And I know I've done it to many people since I got this stupid phone. (Wait! no no! I meant smart phone.) I just need to get through the honeymoon stage with this phone and I'll be all good again. Attentive and present (as much as I ever was before, anyway). Any day now. I promise.