Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Wherein I'm an evil asshole and exhausted from sleeping OR I have a blog now! So you have to read about my dreams and imagined slights by baristas etc

I dreamt last night that I was somehow included in this weird military cabal where we were discussing what to do about the dinosaurs roaming the earth and messing everything up. There was particular concern about Tyrannosaurus Rexes (or is it "Tyrannousaruses Rex" like "attorneys general"? anyway) and what havoc they were wreaking in large cities. I remember feeling distinctly terrified, and also I remember Brontosauruses, who were not wreaking havoc. They were just eating leaves and scaring people and stuff. Someone at the military cabal table took pains to point that out. And there was one scary military dude who sat at the head of the table, and he did the evil guy finger configuration – you know the one where you splay your fingers and touch all your fingertips together – and said, “If we just let them destroy the earth, then there will be nothing left…MWAHAHAHA”. And I was both terrified and intrigued. We let the dinosaurs go nuts for a while, and then when the chaos is over and despair has swept in, we destroy the fat and lazy dinosaurs and become heroes. Think about how easily we could take over the newly destroyed world!

So then that part of the dream ends. And I wake up in my dream, and I am in bed. And I wake Aa up and tell him about my dream. Then I walk the Zacker and come home and get on my laptop (dream trick! don't have one) and blog about the crazy dinosaur / world domination / evil military / me becoming some power-hungry secret cabal member dream. Then I read some other blogs. And weird! One of the blogs I read has a story on it about A DREAM THE WRITER HAD ABOUT DINOSAURS WREAKING HAVOC ON THE PLANET. So I am instantaneously and dreamworld-ly transported to some place with tables and chairs and mugs and she (blogger) is there and says “hey! That’s so weird! I had a dream about the dinosaurs wreaking havoc too!” And I’m like, “That’s so totally fucked up! Did your dream include a weird military cabal?”

And then I think my alarm actually went off and I woke up for real, feeling like I got no sleep whatsoever. So then I lay in my bed, Zack sprawled across my torso, trying to figure out what sweet fuck-all went on in my head last night. I think I have it figured out. I’m obsessed with this cartoon Metalocalypse, which explains the weird scary all-powerful cabal. I’m also watching the entire series of The Sopranos, which I think has something to do with this but I don’t know what yet. Maybe New Jersey Mafioso = dinosaurs? And I saw my friend the blogger earlier yesterday. Uh...there it is. Yep

(also weird was this dream I had a couple weeks ago about two co-workers of mine cracking each other up by making really specifically denigrating comments about commercial country music – like one would say “the pedal steel is so STERILE on Shania Twain’s last two albums!” and the other one would be like doubled over in laughter, slapping her thigh and going “I know!” Maybe I need to stop eating cheese or something?)

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