DEFCON spaz

So yesterday I watched an episode of the teevee show Aa and I are going to be on. And I had a complete...panic...attack. Seriously. I was totally freaked out. The episode, see, featured this lady who had a lot of stuff. And the big bear designer guy called her out for having a bunch of junk. He basically accused her of neglecting her daughter and her homelife in order to collect all the crap she had. This bothered me. The show has to have some conflict in it, and the conflict will easily come from the part in the show where bear designer tells the people what of their stuff is being banished to storage.

I don't want to be called out on teevee for having a lot of stuff. And also it bothers me that I will be expected to defend Aa's stuff, since he'll still be gone. I probably overreacted a little -- I yelled at my friend R who was over, and then called my parents and yelled at them for a while -- but I'm now nervous in a way I wasn't before. And I'm a tad bit obsessed with trying to figure out a way to game this and control the outcome to get what I want. It's amazing - 48 hours ago I was crowing about not having to pack or move our stuff. Now I want more. I want them to re-landscape the backyard and get us a snazzy new couch and build us a loft! And I want to not look like a total idiot on this show. And I want ten million dollars. And some diamonds. And a pony.