Cold, cold, cold, I have a yucky cold. Aa is sleeping on the couch to avoid contamination. And my eyes feel about the size of pebbles in my big, swollen, hurty face. whee!

pizza...twice a day, every day

I'm in the south suburbs of Chicago for the holiday...my mom's downstairs, starting to make stuffing for dinner tomorrow. I just finished another slice of (say it with me!) pizza. About to start wrapping presents and crack open another beer. Hell yeah.

Merry merry everybody.

You know what's more fun than cleaning the Minty?

1. Listening to people "talk" about politics by summarizing what they read on commondreams.org or heard on Democracy Now.
2. Posting.
3. Flossing.
4. Cutting Zack's toenails.
5. Cutting Aa's toenails.
6. Staring at the wall.
7. Making lists.
8. Paying bills.
9.Reading The Five People You Meet In Heaven.
10.Watching K-PAX.

Ho Ho Ho

Merry Christmas!

(For like 70 other pictures of kids freaking out on Santa's lap, click here! Bonus points to anyone who can tell me why the overwhelming majority of these pictures come from the burbs of Chicago.)

(thanks, John!)

windy city

it's 2:27 am. Seattle time. and this is the windiest wind storm, short of the "almost" tornadoes of my central Illinois youth, that i have ever seen.

holy craparoni!

Update on our impending reality teevee stardom

So our friend the teevee producer tells us the reality teevee show we're supposed to be on will air in February or March. So ripping Kristin Cavallari's hair out at Tao will have to wait until late Spring or so.

(Also, just wondering...Not that I was ever into Camille Paglia that much to begin with, but Jesus, really?)

Fussy Butt Posts About Her Weekend

My Uncle Jack had a couple of letters to read to my grandma at her big 100th birthday party this weekend. One was from the White House.

Uncle Jack (after repeatedly asking all of us to shut up already so he could read the letter): Dear Genevieve...

Uncle Tom: We regret to inform you that you'll be leaving for Iraq on Monday.

The party was AWESOME. It would appear that my family is increasing exponentially. We're good at reproducing, man. Holy crap, the babies. Babies babies babies.

Not awesome part of the party: I had some totally gross virus which made me unable to stay warm and caused me to lose my breakfast and perhaps the dinner I had the night before while at the party. Did I mention that much of the party entailed passing large "family-style" plates of food around our table? That was like a nightmare, but also really kind of funny. I took many walks during that time. Also I felt weird hugging people with this totally gross virus. But I hugged them anyway because I really miss a lot of them. And I am selfish.

Oh, the least awesome part was when the waitress called me a "fussy-butt" because I told her I didn't want my salad. It made me really mad for some reason. So then I followed her into the kitchen, kissed her, threw up on her, and yelled, "THAT'S why I didn't want my salad, you miserable bitch! Ha-haaaaa!" Then I passed out.1 Aa told me the waitress made some other remark about me while I was out having another get-away-from-the-food walk, and my sister threw hot coffee on her.2 I love my sister.

I spent Monday and Tuesday in my house, monitoring every weird thing my digestive system did. I'll type up a list of everything and post it later.3 This afternoon I finally feel normal again. It's very exciting. So I'll probably go back to eating fatty foods and putting on the pounds. 4



1 Ok, none of that happened except for the "fussy-butt" part.

2 That's a lie too. But I guess she did say something back to her.

3 No I won't.

4 Yes I will.

addicted to tv, but without the tv.

deadwood...

the HBO series...is kicking my ass. it is like crack.

i have been bittorrenting the 3rd season.

i was up until 3am last night watching it on my laptop while the J and the Z slept quietly and unsuspecting as I slipped into a tv coma.

someone help me.

someone stop me.

i just can't quit.

busy weekend...papa starkey is 60, grandma yandel is 100, and alex has a crazyman beard

When you're a 100 years old you should be this lucky:

meet her ten kids!! and their spouses...AMAZING!...


and her grandkids!!!


and her GREATGrandkids...


Needless to say, coming from a family of about 6 people...
a gathering of this order was amazing.

Jeannie though..suffered with the stomach flu all day. :(

moving on...
.
.
.
...to Papa Starkey's 60 birthday (40 more to go dad!!)
He didn't know we were coming. this is the true look of surprise:


blowing out a LOT of candles...

even though it was a lot of driving. it was 100% worth it to
see dad so surprised and happy.


And...as promised...Alex has a beard:

(hi! i play guitar!)


(hi! i orchestrated the cuban revolution, wrote
a number of french existentialist novels
and i watching you.)

more fun pics of the crazy beard are HERE.

chicago, my kinda town.

i'll do this in fast bullet points, as if i was giving a very important presentation:

• plane was delayed out of seattle due to high winds in chicago. that's funny. think about it. hopefully not for too long.


• it is very cold in chicago. like...really cold.


• not so cold that we couldn't go out and get a beer at one of J's oldtime irish bars in Beverly.


• it was fun. it was icy. it was dark. it was cold. perfect.


• btw, the bar had popcorn. i always like a bar with popcorn.


• i'd probably like a hospital room with popcorn for that matter.


• popcorn. popcorn. popcorn.


• we're headed south and west today because my pop is having a suprise 60th b-day party.


• i'm not afraid to post that because i'm pretty darn sure he hasn't figured out how to read this here blog. which is funny and kinda weird too.


• okay. time to put my socks on.

The Zacker

This weekend Aa and I leave for Chicago for my Grandma's 100th birthday! Yay Grandma!

Then we come back. Then ten days later I leave again for Chicago for Christmas. But this post is not about how December is the most expensive month ever. Oh, no. This is about my friends S, D, and R, who are (respectively) hosting the Zacker while we're at the party, and then staying with the Zacker in the Minty over Christmas. (I love the idea of R hanging out with Zack at the Minty, by the way - although she's going to get sick of me calling every hour and asking what they're doing and if they're having fun.)

Last night, as I was sitting on the couch in front of the fire (with Zack sprawled across my lap, dead asleep) thinking about how much I love the little guy. It's weird, he's a dog, but because of him I feel like the three of us - me, him, Aa - are a little family.* It makes me sad every time we leave town and leave him behind. But it's really reassuring to know that Zack is going to be with other people who really care about him and like spending time with him while we're gone. This weekend he'll also have a playmate - S & D's astounding dog Ellie, who can leap like 8 feet in the air. I'm feeling pretty warm and fuzzy about all this, as you can plainly tell.

But the thing I was thinking about last night, aside from how immensely grateful I am to my friends for taking care of Zack, is how having Zack has affected our lives. Yes, it's kind of a pain in the ass sometimes. Yes, it sucks when Zack destroys another one of Aa's socks. Yes, it drives me insane when it's 3 am and he decides he needs to walk across my neck so he can wedge himself between Aa and me. But still. Because of him I'm part of this little unit **. And because of him the community we have has grown and in a lot of ways reinforced and changed for the better...it's changed how I talk to people and how I interact with animals. I've had more nice conversations with people on the street who just want to know more about Zack than I would have ever guessed.

I didn't know how having this crazy little space alien of a dog was going to open up our lives and enrich them in so many ways. But it's so great. It's worth all the lousy stuff, including trailing him down the street as he sniffs while I beg him to poop already so I don't miss my bus.

*I know he's not a child. I know. If you have kids and you're reading this I'm sure you're thinking I have no idea what the whole family thing is like. You may be right but this feels pretty awesome right now.


**Seriously, I know he's not a child! I do.

car park

things i did this weekend:
1. moved the stereo speakers 1/2 inch closer to the wall.
2. moved the stereo speakers 1/2 inch away from the wall.
3. moved the stereo speakers 3/8 of inch closer to the wall.
4. moved the stereo speakers 3/4 of an inch away from the wall.
5. stopped to think: hmmm. maybe i need new speakers? maybe i need to move the speakers 1" closer to each other?

6. emptied garage by placing 498 boxes on the lawn to be recycled. our front yard looked sad.
7. big news:
parked my car in the garage for the very 1st time.
i am now a full grown man. way past 21.
whoo hoo.