Cold, cold, cold, I have a yucky cold. Aa is sleeping on the couch to avoid contamination. And my eyes feel about the size of pebbles in my big, swollen, hurty face. whee!

pizza...twice a day, every day

I'm in the south suburbs of Chicago for the holiday...my mom's downstairs, starting to make stuffing for dinner tomorrow. I just finished another slice of (say it with me!) pizza. About to start wrapping presents and crack open another beer. Hell yeah.

Merry merry everybody.

You know what's more fun than cleaning the Minty?

1. Listening to people "talk" about politics by summarizing what they read on commondreams.org or heard on Democracy Now.
2. Posting.
3. Flossing.
4. Cutting Zack's toenails.
5. Cutting Aa's toenails.
6. Staring at the wall.
7. Making lists.
8. Paying bills.
9.Reading The Five People You Meet In Heaven.
10.Watching K-PAX.

Ho Ho Ho

Merry Christmas!

(For like 70 other pictures of kids freaking out on Santa's lap, click here! Bonus points to anyone who can tell me why the overwhelming majority of these pictures come from the burbs of Chicago.)

(thanks, John!)

windy city

it's 2:27 am. Seattle time. and this is the windiest wind storm, short of the "almost" tornadoes of my central Illinois youth, that i have ever seen.

holy craparoni!

Update on our impending reality teevee stardom

So our friend the teevee producer tells us the reality teevee show we're supposed to be on will air in February or March. So ripping Kristin Cavallari's hair out at Tao will have to wait until late Spring or so.

(Also, just wondering...Not that I was ever into Camille Paglia that much to begin with, but Jesus, really?)

Fussy Butt Posts About Her Weekend

My Uncle Jack had a couple of letters to read to my grandma at her big 100th birthday party this weekend. One was from the White House.

Uncle Jack (after repeatedly asking all of us to shut up already so he could read the letter): Dear Genevieve...

Uncle Tom: We regret to inform you that you'll be leaving for Iraq on Monday.

The party was AWESOME. It would appear that my family is increasing exponentially. We're good at reproducing, man. Holy crap, the babies. Babies babies babies.

Not awesome part of the party: I had some totally gross virus which made me unable to stay warm and caused me to lose my breakfast and perhaps the dinner I had the night before while at the party. Did I mention that much of the party entailed passing large "family-style" plates of food around our table? That was like a nightmare, but also really kind of funny. I took many walks during that time. Also I felt weird hugging people with this totally gross virus. But I hugged them anyway because I really miss a lot of them. And I am selfish.

Oh, the least awesome part was when the waitress called me a "fussy-butt" because I told her I didn't want my salad. It made me really mad for some reason. So then I followed her into the kitchen, kissed her, threw up on her, and yelled, "THAT'S why I didn't want my salad, you miserable bitch! Ha-haaaaa!" Then I passed out.1 Aa told me the waitress made some other remark about me while I was out having another get-away-from-the-food walk, and my sister threw hot coffee on her.2 I love my sister.

I spent Monday and Tuesday in my house, monitoring every weird thing my digestive system did. I'll type up a list of everything and post it later.3 This afternoon I finally feel normal again. It's very exciting. So I'll probably go back to eating fatty foods and putting on the pounds. 4



1 Ok, none of that happened except for the "fussy-butt" part.

2 That's a lie too. But I guess she did say something back to her.

3 No I won't.

4 Yes I will.

addicted to tv, but without the tv.

deadwood...

the HBO series...is kicking my ass. it is like crack.

i have been bittorrenting the 3rd season.

i was up until 3am last night watching it on my laptop while the J and the Z slept quietly and unsuspecting as I slipped into a tv coma.

someone help me.

someone stop me.

i just can't quit.

busy weekend...papa starkey is 60, grandma yandel is 100, and alex has a crazyman beard

When you're a 100 years old you should be this lucky:

meet her ten kids!! and their spouses...AMAZING!...


and her grandkids!!!


and her GREATGrandkids...


Needless to say, coming from a family of about 6 people...
a gathering of this order was amazing.

Jeannie though..suffered with the stomach flu all day. :(

moving on...
.
.
.
...to Papa Starkey's 60 birthday (40 more to go dad!!)
He didn't know we were coming. this is the true look of surprise:


blowing out a LOT of candles...

even though it was a lot of driving. it was 100% worth it to
see dad so surprised and happy.


And...as promised...Alex has a beard:

(hi! i play guitar!)


(hi! i orchestrated the cuban revolution, wrote
a number of french existentialist novels
and i watching you.)

more fun pics of the crazy beard are HERE.

chicago, my kinda town.

i'll do this in fast bullet points, as if i was giving a very important presentation:

• plane was delayed out of seattle due to high winds in chicago. that's funny. think about it. hopefully not for too long.


• it is very cold in chicago. like...really cold.


• not so cold that we couldn't go out and get a beer at one of J's oldtime irish bars in Beverly.


• it was fun. it was icy. it was dark. it was cold. perfect.


• btw, the bar had popcorn. i always like a bar with popcorn.


• i'd probably like a hospital room with popcorn for that matter.


• popcorn. popcorn. popcorn.


• we're headed south and west today because my pop is having a suprise 60th b-day party.


• i'm not afraid to post that because i'm pretty darn sure he hasn't figured out how to read this here blog. which is funny and kinda weird too.


• okay. time to put my socks on.

The Zacker

This weekend Aa and I leave for Chicago for my Grandma's 100th birthday! Yay Grandma!

Then we come back. Then ten days later I leave again for Chicago for Christmas. But this post is not about how December is the most expensive month ever. Oh, no. This is about my friends S, D, and R, who are (respectively) hosting the Zacker while we're at the party, and then staying with the Zacker in the Minty over Christmas. (I love the idea of R hanging out with Zack at the Minty, by the way - although she's going to get sick of me calling every hour and asking what they're doing and if they're having fun.)

Last night, as I was sitting on the couch in front of the fire (with Zack sprawled across my lap, dead asleep) thinking about how much I love the little guy. It's weird, he's a dog, but because of him I feel like the three of us - me, him, Aa - are a little family.* It makes me sad every time we leave town and leave him behind. But it's really reassuring to know that Zack is going to be with other people who really care about him and like spending time with him while we're gone. This weekend he'll also have a playmate - S & D's astounding dog Ellie, who can leap like 8 feet in the air. I'm feeling pretty warm and fuzzy about all this, as you can plainly tell.

But the thing I was thinking about last night, aside from how immensely grateful I am to my friends for taking care of Zack, is how having Zack has affected our lives. Yes, it's kind of a pain in the ass sometimes. Yes, it sucks when Zack destroys another one of Aa's socks. Yes, it drives me insane when it's 3 am and he decides he needs to walk across my neck so he can wedge himself between Aa and me. But still. Because of him I'm part of this little unit **. And because of him the community we have has grown and in a lot of ways reinforced and changed for the better...it's changed how I talk to people and how I interact with animals. I've had more nice conversations with people on the street who just want to know more about Zack than I would have ever guessed.

I didn't know how having this crazy little space alien of a dog was going to open up our lives and enrich them in so many ways. But it's so great. It's worth all the lousy stuff, including trailing him down the street as he sniffs while I beg him to poop already so I don't miss my bus.

*I know he's not a child. I know. If you have kids and you're reading this I'm sure you're thinking I have no idea what the whole family thing is like. You may be right but this feels pretty awesome right now.


**Seriously, I know he's not a child! I do.

car park

things i did this weekend:
1. moved the stereo speakers 1/2 inch closer to the wall.
2. moved the stereo speakers 1/2 inch away from the wall.
3. moved the stereo speakers 3/8 of inch closer to the wall.
4. moved the stereo speakers 3/4 of an inch away from the wall.
5. stopped to think: hmmm. maybe i need new speakers? maybe i need to move the speakers 1" closer to each other?

6. emptied garage by placing 498 boxes on the lawn to be recycled. our front yard looked sad.
7. big news:
parked my car in the garage for the very 1st time.
i am now a full grown man. way past 21.
whoo hoo.

snowballs in hell

our house and snow.
zack watches all from his window perch.


the snowflakes were a foot in diameter....


seriously though, the snow was just plain cool!


zack still watches. he is watching you....

right now...

But it never snows here.

First things first...Thanksgiving was greatgreatgreat! We had 15 people total, and it was a perfect fit in the wee Minty. But I wish I'd taken more pictures for the blog. Still new to this whole "blogging" thing. Did you know that "blogging" is short for "web logging"? How interesting.

Uhh, anyway...particularly I wish we had pictures of the ice cream sandwiches I made for dessert! (they turned out sort of lumpy, but it was really satisfying to see them all laid out on a serving platter. Plus, they were dee-licious!) Also I wish we had pictures of the lovely and talented Sara assembling her yummy veggie terrine and calmly stepping in to teach Aa how to make gravy. (It smelled really good, and made me miss meat.)

In fact, the whole Thanksgiving weekend was awesome. Our friend Vivien came up from Portland (hi Viv!) and stayed till Saturday. And we met her new "friend" Joel. He's cool and is a spaz about his dog too. Excellent to find others like us. And then Sunday suddenly turned into The Best Day Ever -- the snow started to fall, so we got the fireplace going and sat on the couch watching the snow fall, eating leftovers, drinking tea, and cuddling. This was the day Zack discovered how much he loves the fireplace. He lay in front of it all afternoon, occasionally shifting to try to get his face closer to the heat.

Ok, and not to turn this into a diatribe about how insane it is that the city of Seattle shuts down whenever snow falls, but IT'S INSANE THAT THE CITY OF SEATTLE SHUTS DOWN WHENEVER SNOW FALLS. Monday night, I found myself trapped in the U-District because my bus "stopped running". Uh, what? Yesterday morning I walked most of the way to work b/c once again no buses showed up. OK, and I get that there are hills, and it gets icy, and that's really awful for drivers and buses alike. But I've been here for almost six years now, and can think of three times snow has fallen and caused the city to basically shut down. So this whole argument native Seattleites keep lobbing at me about how "it never snows here!" just doesn't work anymore. IT'S NOT ACCEPTABLE TO SHUT A WHOLE CITY TRANSIT SYSTEM DOWN BECAUSE OF A HALF INCH OF SNOW. IF IT HAPPENS EVERY TWO YEARS THAT'S FREQUENT ENOUGH TO MAYBE PLAN BETTER. GET MORE THAN TWO SNOWPLOWS. HIRE MORE PEOPLE TO DRIVE SALT TRUCKS.

Ok, done. The crazy dysfunction of the city's transit aside, I do like me this weather. And I admit that I also like the fact that I'm not facing three more months of this weather. It's a really welcome respite from the rain, that's for sure.

Brine It Baby!!!

turkey...snow...zack...so much to love. so much to learn.

won't you take a look?

do it now or i'll hit you in the mouth.

dishwasher day two...candles in the wind.

this is how tight the fit was. Tom had to do careful sawing with his sawsall, jigsaw, and i think he may have even had to use his teeth in order to get this just right. the fear? that the tile counter top would collapse...



see the shiny new electrical cable? it's rad. it's shiny. it's ours.




this is the circuit breaker box. it's even more rad.

sometimes i sit in the basement and say prayers to it in pig latin.



.
.
.
.
.
.
.

AND finally....the happy couple with the happy dishwasher!





(note: zack was holding up the camera with his tail)

dogs and windows

news flash: zack has a new perch.

watch him watch...

appliance defiance (no frackin' dishwasher will get the best of me!)

picture the following:
Lazy saturday afternoon sunshine bursting through the windows of the the Minty Fresh.
birds are chirping.
zack is staring at the wall.
Our breakfasts are settling in our tummys.
And Tom, the ultimate handyman, arrives at our door with a belt full of tools and more than saws that i have guitars.
The Minty is going to get a dishwasher today.

And so it began, our picture perfect 50's era plywood cabinet (and some of our precious storage space...) was cut away to make room for our sleek and sexy german engineered dish washing cylon!.

hopefully it won't rise up against us.

As we moved forward with the install...i'd like to remind you of three points:
**start big time movie style WWII music**
1. the 1958 era kitchen was not designed for a modern dishwasher.
2. the 2006 dishwasher was not designed for a 1958 kitchen.
3. i was born sometime between the two.
**end big time movie style WWII music**

at the end of day 1...
it became apparent that this was not going to be a "trivial" experience.

zack finally made the leap to myspace...

next to the lobster costume, this is the dorkiest thing i've ever done:
http://www.myspace.com/thezacker

please be his friend.

especially if you're a pig bone or a squirrel.

glue, screws, and folk songs

not much to report this week:

i fixed our dining room table.

i have not hooked up our stereo.

the clown wall paper still freaks me out.

zack likes to eat the bones of other animals.