Reason 6,578 why sometimes it sucks to have a dog

He sleeps with you, which is great because he's cute and warm and furry. But he's like a tiny horse, and sometimes he dreams about running. This means he extends his legs fully while sleeping and repeatedly kicks you in the softer parts of your torso and thighs while he's galloping around in his dream world. You wake him up and move him -- 4, 5, even 6 times during the night. But he manages to worm his way to the exact same place in the bed, and fall into the exact same tiny horse galloping dream. Thus he manages to land kicks in precisely the same places of your soft, unprotected torso and thighs.

After a night of being repeatedly kicked awake, you groggily get in the shower. When you're done, you open the shower curtain and there's the tiny horse of a dog. As you put your hand out to grab your towel, he starts licking it to help you dry off. You're exhausted and kind of sore but now you're not mad anymore.

Oh no, no, no.

This is the description of or episode of the teevee show:

Jeannie and Aaron are moving to their first house together. Jeannie is very excited to be on the show, but not Aaron. He didn't know how much of a transformation would take place. He's got to know what kind of amazing, fun, and funky rooms designer Roger Hazard creates--hello! Host Tanya Memme even reminds Aaron this is a design show, but clearly he likes the designs he had on the place better. Oh-oh, don't think we've ever had a more disappointed homeowner on the series! Tune in and see if you agree with Aaron's opinions...or Roger's glamorous glam-rock make-over!

Brought to my attention by Tankboy. Um, thanks?

It's on this Saturday at 4:30 pm. Tune in and watch Jeannie apparently weep with joy from being on television! And watch Aaron punch his fist through a wall. Oh, my stomach hurts. Maybe it's because I'm very excited about being on television! Hello!

I can dress myself without help though

I can't read a goddamn calendar. This is a recurring thing for me. But anyway, the relevant point here is - The Superbowl is on SUNDAY, Feb 4th. The reality teevee fiasco is on SATURDAY, Feb 3rd. Maybe I'll watch both. sigh.

Four minutes of game! Followed by seven minutes of car commercials!

I got the above picture in an email from my Dad today. My parents are pretty excited about the Bears going to the Superbowl. And damn! I am too. I think the last time I watched this much football was the last time the Bears went to the Superbowl (I was 11 then. In some drawer somewhere is a great picture of me, my sister, and several cousins all decked out in Bears gear on Superbowl Sunday in January 1986. My bangs were big, my earrings rectangular, my jelly bracelets navy and orange, and my collar upturned. Awesome!)

Anyway, we don't have teevee at my house. And I didn't want to go to a bar and be the asshole rooting for the Bears against the team from the city that is now a national symbol of 1) how much Mother Nature hates us, and 2) the federal government's supreme ineptitude and callousness.

So. Aa dug up a USB card for one of his laptops and dug out some old rabbit ears. And on a computer screen in the living room, we watched the Bears - Saints game. I made some blueberry pancakes and we settled in. And it was FUN! Around the 3rd quarter, Aa made a big freaking plate of nachos and we fretted as it looked like the Bears were gonna blow it. Then we pretty much sat there with our jaws agape as the Bears just danced all over the Saints' grave in the 4th. (I know, I know, Hurricane Katrina. If they'd won the levies would have been magically rebuilt, and people would have magically moved back to the city that is magically restored and magically not exploding with violent crime.) Even though the reality teevee show we're on is scheduled to air at 4:30 on February 3rd, that day is also Superbowl Sunday. I'm gonna miss the stupid reality show. And for the first time in 21 years, I will be watching the Superbowl.

MAY I PLEASE HAVE YOUR ATTENTION

I stopped drinking coffee several months ago, and started drinking tea. For a while now, my morning cup has been Earl Grey. Two days ago I had Irish Breakfast instead. Now I like Irish Breakfast better.

That is all.

Yes, okay

So I have this amazing friend. I frequently call her my superhero friend. She's got two kick-ass kids (one is going to be President and the other Chief Justice of the Supreme Court). She's getting her PhD in Linguistics. She and her kids are fluent in Spanish. So anyway, Superhero and I have been talking about traveling together for a couple of years now. We figured it would be in a Spanish-speaking country b/c of her fluency and my ability to understand most of what's said to me in Spanish (I SUCK at speaking it though, holy cow). So come with me, won't you, back to Christmas night. Superhero and I are sitting in a crappy crappy bar in Chicago's South Suburbs. Superhero has a friend from Lima who's visiting, and she's dragged him along to the crappy bar. Superhero and I start discussing how great it would be if we could finally, FINALLY, travel together. And then, SMACK! The stars align (or I fall out of my chair b/c I've been drinking Miller Lite for 4 hours). Superhero's Peruvian friend invites us to visit. Superhero remembers her ex is taking the kids over her spring break. Superhero looks at me and asks, "Can you come to Peru with me in March?" In this situation, what can you say but yes?

We leave March 9th. Aa joins us on the 11th. It's going to be exceedingly awesome.

More snow!

It's snowing again here. It snowed all night too. Most people I know are at home having a snow day. I am at work. And the show we're doing today at work? Snow days.

Uncle Tupelo, Diesel Audi's and Lowenbrau Dark.

some of you will know what i mean when i say that i am only listening to uncle tupleo today.

that is all.

New Years' resolutions, and things that destroy those resolutions

So one of the things I'm planning to do this year is run a marathon. It'll be my first. In fact, Aa signed us up for a half-marathon to force us to start training early (and also do a half-marathon). One thing that any trainer or coach or book tells you is, when you are training for a long race, you have to do long runs. Many books suggest planning your run for a Sunday - a weekend day when you are presumably off work, and after you've presumably gotten a lot of your other weekend errandy-stuff done.

This Sunday, I did the exact opposite of a long run. I went to a Pie Party.

The Pie Party is an annual event, on some Sunday right at the beginning of the new year (when most ppl have resolved to drop the holiday pounds - excellent timing!). The day of the Pie Party started when Aa and I woke up. He looked at me lovingly and said, "I'm going to make a macaroni and cheese pie". (I think my groggy response was, "Is that possible?") And, hoo boy, he did. It was a heart-stopper of a pie. BUT! I wasn't even *close* to the most insane pie there. No, that honor was easily taken by Josh, who made this. Although I didn't have any of Josh's creation, I think being that near it caused my jeans to fit a little bit tighter. (or maybe it was the three plates of dessert pie I had? Hmmm.) After the Pie Party, Aa and I went home and sat on our butts and moaned about how much we'd just eaten. Zack stared at us in disgust, huffed, and went into the bedroom and fell asleep. (I think he was looking forward to the run.)


Pictures of the weekend-long process of Josh making Timpano! It should be noted you are seeing pictures of, I guess, Timpano Jr. There's apparently a much larger version, which just thinking about gives me a tummy ache.

tentative air date...

Holy Crap.

Looks like it's going to air Feb 3rd.

Almost...

Last night was the first time I left the house since Friday afternoon, when I stumbled home from work with the most ass-kickingest cold ever. We had a dinner that I'm told was delicious (all I could taste in my food was salt, and the wine tasted like really good cough syrup). We danced a little bit, which was really sweet. Then I came home and passed out for 13 hours.

Today I am still having a tough time smelling and tasting, and my throat hurts like a sumbitch. But I feel way more normal than I did yesterday, and I'm not all medicated for the first time in four days. I hereby declare 2007 the year of not getting sick twice a month.