Reason 6,578 why sometimes it sucks to have a dog

He sleeps with you, which is great because he's cute and warm and furry. But he's like a tiny horse, and sometimes he dreams about running. This means he extends his legs fully while sleeping and repeatedly kicks you in the softer parts of your torso and thighs while he's galloping around in his dream world. You wake him up and move him -- 4, 5, even 6 times during the night. But he manages to worm his way to the exact same place in the bed, and fall into the exact same tiny horse galloping dream. Thus he manages to land kicks in precisely the same places of your soft, unprotected torso and thighs.

After a night of being repeatedly kicked awake, you groggily get in the shower. When you're done, you open the shower curtain and there's the tiny horse of a dog. As you put your hand out to grab your towel, he starts licking it to help you dry off. You're exhausted and kind of sore but now you're not mad anymore.