This week in insects

I just got back from Chicago, where the cicadas are making their once-in-every-17-year appearance. Hearing them make their weird noises, seeing their pudgy bodies zoom around, powered by those fast, massive wings...it was pretty awesome. The last time they emerged, my sister and I were babysitting some of my Uncle Terry's neighbors' kids. We'd try to take the kids to the park and on a few days, the cicadas were so thick we couldn't even stand to go outside. They'd buzz our heads, land in our hair. Their shells were all over the ground and crunched under our feet. My cousin Marty, out of...revenge? Frustration? Boredom? 13-year-old-boyness?, took to carrying a baseball bat around with him and smashing cicadas who were mating. He said he wanted to kill them while they were happy.

Last night, I hung out with Cindy the Superwoman and her two beautiful kids. We sat in the backyard as her son swam around in the pool. While we were out there I got to see lightning bugs, one of the things I just miss terribly about summers in the Midwest. Seattle's beautiful and all, but in Illinois, they have these bugs with butts that light up. What mountain can top that?

Other stuff that happened while I was home (very, very briefly):

-much time spent with fabulous parents
-more information gathered about a coupla different things
-went to a Cubs game, which they won, I think by accident
-time spent with cousins
-saw Aa's band play
-time spent with some, but not even close to all, of my friends
-pizza ingested many, many times
-withered repeatedly in the thick, hazy heat and humidity of Midwest June
-ran into two of my favorite people, my Aunt Maribeth and Uncle Dick, while in the security line at the airport this morning

Now I'm home. The Zacker's passed out on his perch. Aa comes home tomorrow. I head into work in the AM. Aside from seeing my dog, I am not yet happy to be back.

shawnee national forest...

For the first time since 1995 i'm going to be in the shawnee.


i like the forests of the northwest..fer sure...(the "fer" was for you kevin...)..but there is nothing quite like the deciduous trees of the midwest in summer time. everything is on fire with life. so great. lots of fond memories of the being in the shawnee with my bestest friends(GV, LEB, KB, TW, LA, SB)!

anyways. good times on our day off. crazy night last night with tim seely's band (another seattle band). those boys party like a real rock band. not quite like our flipflop wearin' selves...

louisville kentucky.
bourbon.
god damn.

Aaron

wanna know what happens on the road?

ryan, a super kick ass photographer...is touring with the band...he's putting some of the pics up here...check 'em out:

http://hobodisco.com/sf100/

that's what life is like on the road.

well, except for the escaping from kansas city on backstreets at 2am to avoid nefarious people part..

The most important vote you'll make

Whether Family Circus gets funnier when its caption is switched out for another cartoon's.

A gift from the Internet

Holy. Crap.

Why in the Sam Hill have I not been using Pandora all along??!! Jesus Jesus Jesus.

Also - today was the last day of a 4-day hosting stint at the radio station. Usually I produce the show, but the past 4 days, well, I was on the air.

-I did not start crying at any time, either on-air or off.
-I did smell like nervous sweat every day after the show was over.
-I'm pretty sure I became a bitchy pile of freak-out at least once.
-I do have renewed respect for and question the sanity of the man who does this gig on a daily basis. How does one function while doing this job? How does one not become an alcoholic doing this job on crazy-ass deadline? (also how does he have the presence of mind and energy to find shit like Pandora? He was the one who told me about it in the first place.)

Hot Sunday

Today's a hot day for Seattle...it's somewhere in the 80's.

(Midwesterners who read this -- yes, we've become babies about weather. Ok?)

Zack is so hot all he can do is pass out near Aa's stinky feet. (Aa is also similarly passed out from the heat.)

Also, my shiny skin from sweating all afternoon! Yay!

Ten Years

Jeff Buckley drowned ten years ago today. Two friends and I met him in Memphis like two or three weeks before he died. He invited us back to his house and made us tea and played old Genesis on the record player. His rented house was crappy and his living room was a mess - guitars were everywhere, and pieces of paper with words all over them. He told us he was writing his next album, and his band was coming to town soon to record it. My friends fell asleep but he and I stayed up until sunrise talking about women's magazines and politics and who knows what else.

When I got the news about his death, I was in some college town in northern Iowa, training to go teach (er, spread pro-US propaganda) to kids in Taiwan. I went to a bar that night to drink beer and mourn. And nobody knew who he was. It was a sad night. Then the next day when I left whatever college town, I stopped in Iowa City to pick up a friend and drive her back to Chicago. When I got to her brother's place, the door was unlocked. I walked in. Both Aimee and Sean were asleep, and 'Eternal Life', the second-to-last song on Grace, was playing. They woke up and immediately started talking about the drowning and how sad they were. It was nice to share that shock and feeling of loss with somebody else.

the times they are a changing...

i have worked at for a long time.

Soon...i will work here:



god damn!

DoubleA Ringo

What are you doing right now?

You should be listening to Spanish for 100, who're live on KEXP right now. Go, go, go!

Friday night rock star YEAH!

So tonight I'm home. Can't really bring myself to clean the house. So instead I watched two movies.

Me And You And Everyone We Know: Good. Weird! Sweet. Touching. Made me happy and a little uncomfortable sometimes too. Made me feel like a voyeur. Made me try to remember if I've ever had an organic moment of intimacy w/ someone I didn't know well. Um, Miranda July is creepy-skinny.

Bobby. A little too much for me. Yes, Bobby Kennedy was shot and it was really awful and he probably would have been an amazing President. But I just kept thinking that the movie Malcom X was wa-haaaay better. Really the most shocking part was during the credits, when they showed a picture of Jack, Bobby, and Ted Kennedy together. Both of his brothers were murdered. No wonder he's stayed in the Senate for ever and ever.

I don't think Zack really cared for either film.

(Aa is actually being a rock star tonight. I am a lame-ass at home because tomorrow I have a race at 9 am. It's supposed to rain. Fun!)

"If I was young, I'd flee this town, I'd bury my dreams underground".

that's the 1st line of the song Elephant Gun by the band Beirut.

lyrics don't often kick my ass, but that one sure does. not trying to be heavy..i don't necessarily "feel" that sentiment. it's pretty heavy though (not deep perhaps, but thoughtful?) Anyway...that said, the concept of youth vs. dreams vs. running away is kinda a universal thing that we all let ourselves be burden with at one point or another.
all I'm calling out is that he said a hell of a lot with just 13 words.

great song too.

Almost All Good

Last night's taping went super great.
And it's my birthday today.
And I got a promotion today that I've been working towards for close to two years (TWO YEARS PEOPLE).
And tomorrow my sister comes to town.
And this weekend we're going to one of my favorite places in the world for three days.
And on Tuesday we've got the next Salon of Shame in a big pretty new space. My sister will attend and Aa's gonna read.

Also today Aa will hopefully find out about something he's been waiting with bated (or is it baited?) breath for for like a month. If that thing happens, and then if Zack magically figures out how to use the bathroom, then this will be a fucking fantastic day.

Zack has a dog cousin

Her name is Hazel! My sis and brother and law got her on Saturday! Oh god the cuteness. Look at those little pawses! [head explodes]

Front door and yogurt

We got a screen door! A screen door for our front door so we can get some f*@$ing breeze in the house (none of our front windows open)!!! Woo-hoo!*

Also this morning the Zacker got his head stuck in a big yogurt container while licking the sides and bottom of it (the yogurt's good for his tummy). I was busy doing something else and didn't realize anything had happened until I heard thunk, thunk. I turned around and little man was lightly banging his yogurt-containered head against a counter, trying to dislodge himself. I was partly horrified for him and partly thought it was hilarious. And his little face was just covered in yogurt when I got the thing off him.

And now, here's a partial transcript of the chat Aa and I had when I told him the yogurt story:

me:zack got his head stuck in the yogurt container this morning.

Aaron: oh POOR guy!

Aaron: that'll learn him...

me: i think he just started figuring out what was going on - he was moving his head around like "why can't i see?!"
Aaron: or..."Why is it all white?"

me: "how did the whole world turn into yogurt?! is this great or is it terrible?!"

Aaron: lol..totally. the confusion over what is good vs. bad is often at play in zacks life.

the door is open "is this good? freedom?" and "

the door is open...can the flies get to me?"

me: "the door is open. does this mean i will encounter a plastic bag or gnome statue??"**

Aaron: "can i fly now?"

me: "can gnome statues fly?!"

Aaron: "can i eat a gnome?"

me: "CAN THEY EAT ME?!"

OK, you can go back to your life now. Pictures to follow the next time Zack gets his head stuck in the yogurt container...like next week.

*Since this blog is supposed to be about the minty I thought I'd write something house-related.
**Zack is afraid of plastic bags and garden statues, particularly gnomes.

I'm not gonna do anything this week that's more awesome than what I did today

So today on the radio show I produce, I came up with THE. BEST. MUSIC. TRANSITION. EVER. Seriously. It was a transition between a discussion on the state legislature, whose 2007 session ended last night, and a political party in Scotland that's advocating for independence from England who're likely to win in the upcoming Scottish elections. Now I knwe what you're thinking. You're thinking, "My God Jeannie, how in God's name did you come up with a piece of music to segue between such massively disparate topics?!" I know, it's insane! So what did I do? I hope you're sitting down because this will knock the standing power right out of your legs it's so great. So the transition I used was the open to the Proclaimers' song "Over And Done With". This is scorchingly brilliant because

1. The Proclaimers are Scottish.
2. The legislative session is, well, over and done with.
3. If this Scottish pro-independence party wins the election, Scotland's being part of England is ALSO OVER AND DONE WITH. DO YOU SEE NOW?!

There's no way I'm coming up with any better idea this week. Possibly ever in my life. So, whatever, I'm not coming in to work the rest of this week. Why bother? I peaked already.

You know what it is about Kurt Vonnegut's writing? The first time I read it I felt like, oh yeah, that's exactly right. That makes perfect sense to me. Even the ranty stuff of his later years gave me that same feeling. It was so great to read his stuff because of that, it kind of felt like coming home a little bit. You know what I mean? Very few writers make me feel that way - I can't think of any others offhand, not even in my top three.*, **

Also, I didn't care about stupid Don Imus and then CBS Radio fired him and all of a sudden I started caring and got real fucking happy.



*Salman Rushdie, James Baldwin, Zora Neale Hurston

**Why is Kurt Vonnegut not in my top three considering how his writing makes me feel? What the hell?

Wherein I'm an evil asshole and exhausted from sleeping OR I have a blog now! So you have to read about my dreams and imagined slights by baristas etc

I dreamt last night that I was somehow included in this weird military cabal where we were discussing what to do about the dinosaurs roaming the earth and messing everything up. There was particular concern about Tyrannosaurus Rexes (or is it "Tyrannousaruses Rex" like "attorneys general"? anyway) and what havoc they were wreaking in large cities. I remember feeling distinctly terrified, and also I remember Brontosauruses, who were not wreaking havoc. They were just eating leaves and scaring people and stuff. Someone at the military cabal table took pains to point that out. And there was one scary military dude who sat at the head of the table, and he did the evil guy finger configuration – you know the one where you splay your fingers and touch all your fingertips together – and said, “If we just let them destroy the earth, then there will be nothing left…MWAHAHAHA”. And I was both terrified and intrigued. We let the dinosaurs go nuts for a while, and then when the chaos is over and despair has swept in, we destroy the fat and lazy dinosaurs and become heroes. Think about how easily we could take over the newly destroyed world!

So then that part of the dream ends. And I wake up in my dream, and I am in bed. And I wake Aa up and tell him about my dream. Then I walk the Zacker and come home and get on my laptop (dream trick! don't have one) and blog about the crazy dinosaur / world domination / evil military / me becoming some power-hungry secret cabal member dream. Then I read some other blogs. And weird! One of the blogs I read has a story on it about A DREAM THE WRITER HAD ABOUT DINOSAURS WREAKING HAVOC ON THE PLANET. So I am instantaneously and dreamworld-ly transported to some place with tables and chairs and mugs and she (blogger) is there and says “hey! That’s so weird! I had a dream about the dinosaurs wreaking havoc too!” And I’m like, “That’s so totally fucked up! Did your dream include a weird military cabal?”

And then I think my alarm actually went off and I woke up for real, feeling like I got no sleep whatsoever. So then I lay in my bed, Zack sprawled across my torso, trying to figure out what sweet fuck-all went on in my head last night. I think I have it figured out. I’m obsessed with this cartoon Metalocalypse, which explains the weird scary all-powerful cabal. I’m also watching the entire series of The Sopranos, which I think has something to do with this but I don’t know what yet. Maybe New Jersey Mafioso = dinosaurs? And I saw my friend the blogger earlier yesterday. Uh...there it is. Yep

(also weird was this dream I had a couple weeks ago about two co-workers of mine cracking each other up by making really specifically denigrating comments about commercial country music – like one would say “the pedal steel is so STERILE on Shania Twain’s last two albums!” and the other one would be like doubled over in laughter, slapping her thigh and going “I know!” Maybe I need to stop eating cheese or something?)

Peru 5

For the second day in a row, we’re all getting up at 4:45 in the morning. This morning, it’s so we can see the sun rise on Macchu Picchu. I’m not terribly excited about heading up there. Even though I’ve been told how amazing it is, and how I shouldn’t miss it, I can’t help but feel it’s going to be an annoying touristy experience. I’m hoping the early visit will cut down on the crowds.

We head down to the bus stop to catch the 5:30 bus, the first bus up the mountain. We blink at each other in the early-morning darkness and tiredly chew the bananas we grabbed from the hotel lobby. Despite the early hour, the bus fills up to capacity. I am wedged between Aa and some guy who needs a shower. I spend the whole ride wishing him ill for his poor hygeine. Heading up the mountain, we see people wearing garbage bags hiking up and watch the rain hit the windows. After some unspecified time, the bus stops and the doors open. We’re there, apparently.

We stumble out of the bus and head to the front door. It’s still mostly dark out. We can see the very expensive hotel just to our right. Then we enter the park. For a while it kind of looks like Ireland – green and misty and hilly, with stone buildings. I don’t know exactly when it stops looking like Ireland or anyplace I’ve ever been before. ..But the sun is rising and the clouds are moving around us, obscuring some things and revealing others. The landscape is changing every minute. I look down and it's suddenly clear enough to see all the way to the valley and the river below. I look up and there’s another mountain, with a thin trail of stone stairs snaking up one side Nobody’s really talking, including me. Then I understand that the mountain I’m on isn’t really a mountain anymore. At its peak, it’s been dug out and flattened by hand. Plateaus were built for farming. Stones were hauled up and fitted together without cement or mud to build temples and houses. People lived and ate and fought had babies and died here. How strange that I ever thought getting in a bus before dawn was some big deal

twittervision...

okay...i get the whole web 2.0 thing.
whateve.
i was around for web 0.1
HOWEVER..this is cool: http://twittervision.com/
bye.

Peru 4

Cindy and I land in Lima and Rafael picks us up. Aa comes in two days later. It's close to 1 in the morning, and Cindy and I are giddy, exhausted, and greasy from travelling for so long. We check into our hotel and notice the lively dive bar across the street. Cindy and I look at each other. Are we too tired for a beer? We go back and forth until we finally decide to flip a coin. I'm so tired I accidentally throw the coin on top of a shelf. I get it right the second time, and the coin tells us to stay in. "How disappointing!" I say. Cindy starts laughing and says we don't need to let the coin actually decide for us. I realize she's right. Fuck the coin! So I grab my sweater and we head across the street. I order Cusquenas for us, which gets a nod of approval from Raf. We drink and laugh and drink some more and laugh some more, then we head to another bar with a dance floor. There we laugh at the dancers and drink more. We finally stumble back to the hotel around 6 am. Drunk, happy, exhausted, I text Aa, but my phone doesn't work in other countries so the message won't send.

Peru 3

Our flight home leaves at midnight. But we’re in denial. It’s only noon, and it’s a beautiful day in Lima - hot, sunny, humid. Cindy, Aa and I are in a cab on our way to our last ceviche. We’re pretty sure it’s going to be the best ceviche so far too. One reason for our confidence is that Rafael’s dad immediately knew about the restaurant when Aa and Cindy mentioned it to him yesterday. He pulled a business card out of somewhere for the place, and that card is what we’re using as our beacon. But even with the little map on the back of the card, our cab driver can’t find it. Not that it's a terrible ride. The driver’s really funny and a good storyteller. We speed down the road next to beach, making each other laugh. After circling where the restaurant is supposed to be, our cab driver stops and asks a guy pedaling a little jungle taxi where to find it. The jungle cabbie directs our guy, who is so happy to get better directions he yells a Spanish slang word that is the equivalent of “Fucking awesome!”. Cindy starts clapping and laughing – she’s only ever heard and used “awesome”, but not “fucking awesome”. Ten minutes later, we’re happily in the restaurant, ordering beers. We’re awesome, we tell each other in Spanish. But the cab driver? That guy was fucking awesome.

Peru story the second

The landing into Cusco is kind of crazy - the plane turns and sort of zigags past mountains and finally drops lightly into the flat area where the airport is. Aa and I de-plane, and after a long time bargaining with cab drivers, we get a taxi into town. We get dropped off at the Plaza de Armas and wander around in circles, tired and grumpy, unable to find our hotel. People everywhere are trying to sell us stuff - maps, finger puppets, dolls, postcards. One older woman in traditional dress comes up while we're looking at our map to try and sell us some dolls. I say "no, gracias" (this will become like a mantra while we're in Cusco). She looks at me and then goes for Aa, sticking the dolls in his face while he's hunkered down looking at the map. He says "NO" forcefully. The woman rears back, then sticks the dolls in his face more aggressively and hisses at him. Aa says "whoa!" and we both start laughing. The woman starts laughing too and walks away. We then look up to get our bearings and realize our hotel is four doors or so down from where we are - we must have walked past it three times. So we head in and are taken upstairs to an amazing room on the top floor - it's like a loft, with huge windows looking out onto the Plaza. The bed is huge and soft and we pass out for several hours.

Peru story the first

We're checking into our hotel in Aguas Calientes, which is where you stay when you go to Macchu Picchu. It's me (clearly not Peruvian), Aaron (so totally not Peruvian), Cindy (blonde and blue-eyed, so not Peruvian), and Rafael (Peruvian). Two younger, pretty women are checking us in. As Aaron and I converse with one young woman in our craptastic Spanish, the other sidles over to Rafael and mumbles, "we have massages, sir". Cindy, who speaks Spanish fluently, overhears. Rafael knows Cindy's heard the proposition and looks over at her, wide-eyed. He moves closer to Cindy and ignores the young woman. The young woman doesn't get the hint; every time we stop at the desk she sidles over to Rafael and reminds him of the special service the hotel provides customers who may need a break from their white tourist friends.

2 lists about my dog

Things that Zack is either afraid of or just can't figure out, in no particular order

-big paper clips
-weed whackers
-vacuum cleaners
-the cats that live across the street from us
-moths
-the dark
-on occasion, his bone
-our backyard
-plastic bags
-cassette tapes with the guts ripped out and lying out on the sidewalk
-garden statues of squirrels, gnomes, etc.
-other basenjis
-any black dog
-sometimes, puppies

Things Zack is totally unafraid of and actually kind of loves, again in no particular order

-dogs that are big enough to eat him, like German shepherds and pitbulls (unless they're black; see above)
-staring down the dogs that are big enough eat him
-leaping out from behind trees at the dog park and scaring the shit out of the dogs that are big enough to eat him
-every other cat in the world
-rats
-large spiders
-bees
-most of the time, his bone
-burrowing under the covers even though it's hard for him to breathe and it's dark (see above)
-climing into cars - moving or parked, belonging to us or total strangers, doors opened or closed, occupied or unoccupied
-fire

all the photos are here...

I put up all the photos from peru HERE.

Mostly pics of food, Jeannie, Cindy, Rafael, more food, mountains, sun, water, chickens, trains, airplanes, tourists, even more food. goood times!!

1st pic from trip...

This pic is from the top of wayna picchu. we've spent half the day getting up here...and now we're beginning our descent down.

(instead of posting a whole bunch of photos at once...I'm going to post one everyday...and they won't be in sequence.)

(From Jeannie: I'm kind of afraid of heights, but I didn't think about going back down the mountain while we were hiking up. This shot represents the first time I realized I had to get back down the fucking thing too. There is no picture of my face at this moment, which I'm glad of, because I think I actually started to cry once I realized what I'd gotten myself into.)

Home, home, home

After being awake for close to 24 hours, including an 8-hr layover in Atlanta (The Racially-Dividiest City In America! Holy Crap!), Aa and I returned home greasy and groggy to cold, wet Seattle. We retreived the Zacker (who stared at us in wide-eyed disbelief when he first saw us -- my God! Is it really you?!?!) and came home to pass out. Getting up this morning for work was HARD. And we're in pledge drive too, so if you hear me on the air tonight crying or asking where I am, please send in your pledge of support anyway. The sooner the drive is over the sooner they can take my punchy self off the air.

Pictures, memories, recountings of badly-mangled Spanish, etc soon.

where in the world _

yep. good times.

[wow, i leave for peru in less than 3 days. holy crap.]

The above is running, like a news ticker banner, through my brain right now.

Do you know that right now I'm on the couch with Zack and he's asleep ad he has his head on my arm? It's ridiculously endearing.

Jack Bauer at the Minty

I'm getting ready for bed. Aa and Zack are in the living room, watching an episode of 24.

Aa: I don't know what I'm doing. This is the worst show ever.
Me: So why don't you turn it off and come to bed?
Aa: Because it's the best show ever?


Recent descriptions of 24 from iTunes:
The nation continues to reel from the terrorist attacks and Agent Bauer battles unthinkable circumstances.

Jack Bauer struggles with yet another setback, the terror threat advances and the Administration remains bunkered down.

A surprising development has Jack Bauer dealing with a familiar foe.

Jack Bauer orders Thai food and kicks back to watch Julia Roberts' starmaking performance in "Pretty Woman". (I made that last one up.)

I'm leaving for Peru in less than two weeks. Today we're going to the travel medicine doctor to get immunizations. Aa told me a story about a co-worker's girlfriend who vomited 20x after eating locally-made yogurt. Everyone I talk to is like, "watch out for altitude sickness!!! I wasn't expecting it to hit me but it kicked my ass". How weird. I'm sure I'll get sick from the food (I get sick here like clockwork) but still. Still! It'll be awesome. Stop tryin' to scare me, people.

so.....

well. by now...yeah. let's just move on.

so...spring is right around the corner, right?! well. blah. weather is boring.

what to talk about...
oh yeah...guess what the latest serialized tv crack that we've been watching at The Minty is?

Heroes. VERY good comic book television. inventive, well written, funny and engaging. it's candy of course, candy of the worst kind. but it takes the buzz off a day of "changing the world with software" far better than a can of old style. well, that's not true. old style does the trick sometimes too. as does walking the dog.

i do hate TV. but boy howdy do i love TV. especially when i can download a show and watch it on the bus. last thought on tv shows: I have become quite disappointed in Battlestar Galactica. it's has slowly started to frack itself up with really poor writing.

anyway. it was time to post again. more to come. had to write something!

t-minus 75 minutes

So the reality teevee show airs in about an hour 15 minutes here in Seattle. It's already aired in the Midwest and on the East Coast. So we've been getting calls and text messages from those folks but they've been nice enough to not tell us anything about the show. Except maybe I'm reading too much into my mom's response when I told her not to tell me anything.

me: hi mom! we haven't seen it yet. so don't tell me anything.
mom: ooooookay. [pause] well, call me when you've seen it.

weirdest. saturday. ever.

Reason 6,578 why sometimes it sucks to have a dog

He sleeps with you, which is great because he's cute and warm and furry. But he's like a tiny horse, and sometimes he dreams about running. This means he extends his legs fully while sleeping and repeatedly kicks you in the softer parts of your torso and thighs while he's galloping around in his dream world. You wake him up and move him -- 4, 5, even 6 times during the night. But he manages to worm his way to the exact same place in the bed, and fall into the exact same tiny horse galloping dream. Thus he manages to land kicks in precisely the same places of your soft, unprotected torso and thighs.

After a night of being repeatedly kicked awake, you groggily get in the shower. When you're done, you open the shower curtain and there's the tiny horse of a dog. As you put your hand out to grab your towel, he starts licking it to help you dry off. You're exhausted and kind of sore but now you're not mad anymore.

Oh no, no, no.

This is the description of or episode of the teevee show:

Jeannie and Aaron are moving to their first house together. Jeannie is very excited to be on the show, but not Aaron. He didn't know how much of a transformation would take place. He's got to know what kind of amazing, fun, and funky rooms designer Roger Hazard creates--hello! Host Tanya Memme even reminds Aaron this is a design show, but clearly he likes the designs he had on the place better. Oh-oh, don't think we've ever had a more disappointed homeowner on the series! Tune in and see if you agree with Aaron's opinions...or Roger's glamorous glam-rock make-over!

Brought to my attention by Tankboy. Um, thanks?

It's on this Saturday at 4:30 pm. Tune in and watch Jeannie apparently weep with joy from being on television! And watch Aaron punch his fist through a wall. Oh, my stomach hurts. Maybe it's because I'm very excited about being on television! Hello!

I can dress myself without help though

I can't read a goddamn calendar. This is a recurring thing for me. But anyway, the relevant point here is - The Superbowl is on SUNDAY, Feb 4th. The reality teevee fiasco is on SATURDAY, Feb 3rd. Maybe I'll watch both. sigh.

Four minutes of game! Followed by seven minutes of car commercials!

I got the above picture in an email from my Dad today. My parents are pretty excited about the Bears going to the Superbowl. And damn! I am too. I think the last time I watched this much football was the last time the Bears went to the Superbowl (I was 11 then. In some drawer somewhere is a great picture of me, my sister, and several cousins all decked out in Bears gear on Superbowl Sunday in January 1986. My bangs were big, my earrings rectangular, my jelly bracelets navy and orange, and my collar upturned. Awesome!)

Anyway, we don't have teevee at my house. And I didn't want to go to a bar and be the asshole rooting for the Bears against the team from the city that is now a national symbol of 1) how much Mother Nature hates us, and 2) the federal government's supreme ineptitude and callousness.

So. Aa dug up a USB card for one of his laptops and dug out some old rabbit ears. And on a computer screen in the living room, we watched the Bears - Saints game. I made some blueberry pancakes and we settled in. And it was FUN! Around the 3rd quarter, Aa made a big freaking plate of nachos and we fretted as it looked like the Bears were gonna blow it. Then we pretty much sat there with our jaws agape as the Bears just danced all over the Saints' grave in the 4th. (I know, I know, Hurricane Katrina. If they'd won the levies would have been magically rebuilt, and people would have magically moved back to the city that is magically restored and magically not exploding with violent crime.) Even though the reality teevee show we're on is scheduled to air at 4:30 on February 3rd, that day is also Superbowl Sunday. I'm gonna miss the stupid reality show. And for the first time in 21 years, I will be watching the Superbowl.

MAY I PLEASE HAVE YOUR ATTENTION

I stopped drinking coffee several months ago, and started drinking tea. For a while now, my morning cup has been Earl Grey. Two days ago I had Irish Breakfast instead. Now I like Irish Breakfast better.

That is all.

Yes, okay

So I have this amazing friend. I frequently call her my superhero friend. She's got two kick-ass kids (one is going to be President and the other Chief Justice of the Supreme Court). She's getting her PhD in Linguistics. She and her kids are fluent in Spanish. So anyway, Superhero and I have been talking about traveling together for a couple of years now. We figured it would be in a Spanish-speaking country b/c of her fluency and my ability to understand most of what's said to me in Spanish (I SUCK at speaking it though, holy cow). So come with me, won't you, back to Christmas night. Superhero and I are sitting in a crappy crappy bar in Chicago's South Suburbs. Superhero has a friend from Lima who's visiting, and she's dragged him along to the crappy bar. Superhero and I start discussing how great it would be if we could finally, FINALLY, travel together. And then, SMACK! The stars align (or I fall out of my chair b/c I've been drinking Miller Lite for 4 hours). Superhero's Peruvian friend invites us to visit. Superhero remembers her ex is taking the kids over her spring break. Superhero looks at me and asks, "Can you come to Peru with me in March?" In this situation, what can you say but yes?

We leave March 9th. Aa joins us on the 11th. It's going to be exceedingly awesome.

More snow!

It's snowing again here. It snowed all night too. Most people I know are at home having a snow day. I am at work. And the show we're doing today at work? Snow days.

Uncle Tupelo, Diesel Audi's and Lowenbrau Dark.

some of you will know what i mean when i say that i am only listening to uncle tupleo today.

that is all.

New Years' resolutions, and things that destroy those resolutions

So one of the things I'm planning to do this year is run a marathon. It'll be my first. In fact, Aa signed us up for a half-marathon to force us to start training early (and also do a half-marathon). One thing that any trainer or coach or book tells you is, when you are training for a long race, you have to do long runs. Many books suggest planning your run for a Sunday - a weekend day when you are presumably off work, and after you've presumably gotten a lot of your other weekend errandy-stuff done.

This Sunday, I did the exact opposite of a long run. I went to a Pie Party.

The Pie Party is an annual event, on some Sunday right at the beginning of the new year (when most ppl have resolved to drop the holiday pounds - excellent timing!). The day of the Pie Party started when Aa and I woke up. He looked at me lovingly and said, "I'm going to make a macaroni and cheese pie". (I think my groggy response was, "Is that possible?") And, hoo boy, he did. It was a heart-stopper of a pie. BUT! I wasn't even *close* to the most insane pie there. No, that honor was easily taken by Josh, who made this. Although I didn't have any of Josh's creation, I think being that near it caused my jeans to fit a little bit tighter. (or maybe it was the three plates of dessert pie I had? Hmmm.) After the Pie Party, Aa and I went home and sat on our butts and moaned about how much we'd just eaten. Zack stared at us in disgust, huffed, and went into the bedroom and fell asleep. (I think he was looking forward to the run.)


Pictures of the weekend-long process of Josh making Timpano! It should be noted you are seeing pictures of, I guess, Timpano Jr. There's apparently a much larger version, which just thinking about gives me a tummy ache.

tentative air date...

Holy Crap.

Looks like it's going to air Feb 3rd.

Almost...

Last night was the first time I left the house since Friday afternoon, when I stumbled home from work with the most ass-kickingest cold ever. We had a dinner that I'm told was delicious (all I could taste in my food was salt, and the wine tasted like really good cough syrup). We danced a little bit, which was really sweet. Then I came home and passed out for 13 hours.

Today I am still having a tough time smelling and tasting, and my throat hurts like a sumbitch. But I feel way more normal than I did yesterday, and I'm not all medicated for the first time in four days. I hereby declare 2007 the year of not getting sick twice a month.

Cold, cold, cold, I have a yucky cold. Aa is sleeping on the couch to avoid contamination. And my eyes feel about the size of pebbles in my big, swollen, hurty face. whee!

pizza...twice a day, every day

I'm in the south suburbs of Chicago for the holiday...my mom's downstairs, starting to make stuffing for dinner tomorrow. I just finished another slice of (say it with me!) pizza. About to start wrapping presents and crack open another beer. Hell yeah.

Merry merry everybody.

You know what's more fun than cleaning the Minty?

1. Listening to people "talk" about politics by summarizing what they read on commondreams.org or heard on Democracy Now.
2. Posting.
3. Flossing.
4. Cutting Zack's toenails.
5. Cutting Aa's toenails.
6. Staring at the wall.
7. Making lists.
8. Paying bills.
9.Reading The Five People You Meet In Heaven.
10.Watching K-PAX.

Ho Ho Ho

Merry Christmas!

(For like 70 other pictures of kids freaking out on Santa's lap, click here! Bonus points to anyone who can tell me why the overwhelming majority of these pictures come from the burbs of Chicago.)

(thanks, John!)

windy city

it's 2:27 am. Seattle time. and this is the windiest wind storm, short of the "almost" tornadoes of my central Illinois youth, that i have ever seen.

holy craparoni!

Update on our impending reality teevee stardom

So our friend the teevee producer tells us the reality teevee show we're supposed to be on will air in February or March. So ripping Kristin Cavallari's hair out at Tao will have to wait until late Spring or so.

(Also, just wondering...Not that I was ever into Camille Paglia that much to begin with, but Jesus, really?)

Fussy Butt Posts About Her Weekend

My Uncle Jack had a couple of letters to read to my grandma at her big 100th birthday party this weekend. One was from the White House.

Uncle Jack (after repeatedly asking all of us to shut up already so he could read the letter): Dear Genevieve...

Uncle Tom: We regret to inform you that you'll be leaving for Iraq on Monday.

The party was AWESOME. It would appear that my family is increasing exponentially. We're good at reproducing, man. Holy crap, the babies. Babies babies babies.

Not awesome part of the party: I had some totally gross virus which made me unable to stay warm and caused me to lose my breakfast and perhaps the dinner I had the night before while at the party. Did I mention that much of the party entailed passing large "family-style" plates of food around our table? That was like a nightmare, but also really kind of funny. I took many walks during that time. Also I felt weird hugging people with this totally gross virus. But I hugged them anyway because I really miss a lot of them. And I am selfish.

Oh, the least awesome part was when the waitress called me a "fussy-butt" because I told her I didn't want my salad. It made me really mad for some reason. So then I followed her into the kitchen, kissed her, threw up on her, and yelled, "THAT'S why I didn't want my salad, you miserable bitch! Ha-haaaaa!" Then I passed out.1 Aa told me the waitress made some other remark about me while I was out having another get-away-from-the-food walk, and my sister threw hot coffee on her.2 I love my sister.

I spent Monday and Tuesday in my house, monitoring every weird thing my digestive system did. I'll type up a list of everything and post it later.3 This afternoon I finally feel normal again. It's very exciting. So I'll probably go back to eating fatty foods and putting on the pounds. 4



1 Ok, none of that happened except for the "fussy-butt" part.

2 That's a lie too. But I guess she did say something back to her.

3 No I won't.

4 Yes I will.

addicted to tv, but without the tv.

deadwood...

the HBO series...is kicking my ass. it is like crack.

i have been bittorrenting the 3rd season.

i was up until 3am last night watching it on my laptop while the J and the Z slept quietly and unsuspecting as I slipped into a tv coma.

someone help me.

someone stop me.

i just can't quit.

busy weekend...papa starkey is 60, grandma yandel is 100, and alex has a crazyman beard

When you're a 100 years old you should be this lucky:

meet her ten kids!! and their spouses...AMAZING!...


and her grandkids!!!


and her GREATGrandkids...


Needless to say, coming from a family of about 6 people...
a gathering of this order was amazing.

Jeannie though..suffered with the stomach flu all day. :(

moving on...
.
.
.
...to Papa Starkey's 60 birthday (40 more to go dad!!)
He didn't know we were coming. this is the true look of surprise:


blowing out a LOT of candles...

even though it was a lot of driving. it was 100% worth it to
see dad so surprised and happy.


And...as promised...Alex has a beard:

(hi! i play guitar!)


(hi! i orchestrated the cuban revolution, wrote
a number of french existentialist novels
and i watching you.)

more fun pics of the crazy beard are HERE.

chicago, my kinda town.

i'll do this in fast bullet points, as if i was giving a very important presentation:

• plane was delayed out of seattle due to high winds in chicago. that's funny. think about it. hopefully not for too long.


• it is very cold in chicago. like...really cold.


• not so cold that we couldn't go out and get a beer at one of J's oldtime irish bars in Beverly.


• it was fun. it was icy. it was dark. it was cold. perfect.


• btw, the bar had popcorn. i always like a bar with popcorn.


• i'd probably like a hospital room with popcorn for that matter.


• popcorn. popcorn. popcorn.


• we're headed south and west today because my pop is having a suprise 60th b-day party.


• i'm not afraid to post that because i'm pretty darn sure he hasn't figured out how to read this here blog. which is funny and kinda weird too.


• okay. time to put my socks on.

The Zacker

This weekend Aa and I leave for Chicago for my Grandma's 100th birthday! Yay Grandma!

Then we come back. Then ten days later I leave again for Chicago for Christmas. But this post is not about how December is the most expensive month ever. Oh, no. This is about my friends S, D, and R, who are (respectively) hosting the Zacker while we're at the party, and then staying with the Zacker in the Minty over Christmas. (I love the idea of R hanging out with Zack at the Minty, by the way - although she's going to get sick of me calling every hour and asking what they're doing and if they're having fun.)

Last night, as I was sitting on the couch in front of the fire (with Zack sprawled across my lap, dead asleep) thinking about how much I love the little guy. It's weird, he's a dog, but because of him I feel like the three of us - me, him, Aa - are a little family.* It makes me sad every time we leave town and leave him behind. But it's really reassuring to know that Zack is going to be with other people who really care about him and like spending time with him while we're gone. This weekend he'll also have a playmate - S & D's astounding dog Ellie, who can leap like 8 feet in the air. I'm feeling pretty warm and fuzzy about all this, as you can plainly tell.

But the thing I was thinking about last night, aside from how immensely grateful I am to my friends for taking care of Zack, is how having Zack has affected our lives. Yes, it's kind of a pain in the ass sometimes. Yes, it sucks when Zack destroys another one of Aa's socks. Yes, it drives me insane when it's 3 am and he decides he needs to walk across my neck so he can wedge himself between Aa and me. But still. Because of him I'm part of this little unit **. And because of him the community we have has grown and in a lot of ways reinforced and changed for the better...it's changed how I talk to people and how I interact with animals. I've had more nice conversations with people on the street who just want to know more about Zack than I would have ever guessed.

I didn't know how having this crazy little space alien of a dog was going to open up our lives and enrich them in so many ways. But it's so great. It's worth all the lousy stuff, including trailing him down the street as he sniffs while I beg him to poop already so I don't miss my bus.

*I know he's not a child. I know. If you have kids and you're reading this I'm sure you're thinking I have no idea what the whole family thing is like. You may be right but this feels pretty awesome right now.


**Seriously, I know he's not a child! I do.

car park

things i did this weekend:
1. moved the stereo speakers 1/2 inch closer to the wall.
2. moved the stereo speakers 1/2 inch away from the wall.
3. moved the stereo speakers 3/8 of inch closer to the wall.
4. moved the stereo speakers 3/4 of an inch away from the wall.
5. stopped to think: hmmm. maybe i need new speakers? maybe i need to move the speakers 1" closer to each other?

6. emptied garage by placing 498 boxes on the lawn to be recycled. our front yard looked sad.
7. big news:
parked my car in the garage for the very 1st time.
i am now a full grown man. way past 21.
whoo hoo.

snowballs in hell

our house and snow.
zack watches all from his window perch.


the snowflakes were a foot in diameter....


seriously though, the snow was just plain cool!


zack still watches. he is watching you....

right now...

But it never snows here.

First things first...Thanksgiving was greatgreatgreat! We had 15 people total, and it was a perfect fit in the wee Minty. But I wish I'd taken more pictures for the blog. Still new to this whole "blogging" thing. Did you know that "blogging" is short for "web logging"? How interesting.

Uhh, anyway...particularly I wish we had pictures of the ice cream sandwiches I made for dessert! (they turned out sort of lumpy, but it was really satisfying to see them all laid out on a serving platter. Plus, they were dee-licious!) Also I wish we had pictures of the lovely and talented Sara assembling her yummy veggie terrine and calmly stepping in to teach Aa how to make gravy. (It smelled really good, and made me miss meat.)

In fact, the whole Thanksgiving weekend was awesome. Our friend Vivien came up from Portland (hi Viv!) and stayed till Saturday. And we met her new "friend" Joel. He's cool and is a spaz about his dog too. Excellent to find others like us. And then Sunday suddenly turned into The Best Day Ever -- the snow started to fall, so we got the fireplace going and sat on the couch watching the snow fall, eating leftovers, drinking tea, and cuddling. This was the day Zack discovered how much he loves the fireplace. He lay in front of it all afternoon, occasionally shifting to try to get his face closer to the heat.

Ok, and not to turn this into a diatribe about how insane it is that the city of Seattle shuts down whenever snow falls, but IT'S INSANE THAT THE CITY OF SEATTLE SHUTS DOWN WHENEVER SNOW FALLS. Monday night, I found myself trapped in the U-District because my bus "stopped running". Uh, what? Yesterday morning I walked most of the way to work b/c once again no buses showed up. OK, and I get that there are hills, and it gets icy, and that's really awful for drivers and buses alike. But I've been here for almost six years now, and can think of three times snow has fallen and caused the city to basically shut down. So this whole argument native Seattleites keep lobbing at me about how "it never snows here!" just doesn't work anymore. IT'S NOT ACCEPTABLE TO SHUT A WHOLE CITY TRANSIT SYSTEM DOWN BECAUSE OF A HALF INCH OF SNOW. IF IT HAPPENS EVERY TWO YEARS THAT'S FREQUENT ENOUGH TO MAYBE PLAN BETTER. GET MORE THAN TWO SNOWPLOWS. HIRE MORE PEOPLE TO DRIVE SALT TRUCKS.

Ok, done. The crazy dysfunction of the city's transit aside, I do like me this weather. And I admit that I also like the fact that I'm not facing three more months of this weather. It's a really welcome respite from the rain, that's for sure.

Brine It Baby!!!

turkey...snow...zack...so much to love. so much to learn.

won't you take a look?

do it now or i'll hit you in the mouth.

dishwasher day two...candles in the wind.

this is how tight the fit was. Tom had to do careful sawing with his sawsall, jigsaw, and i think he may have even had to use his teeth in order to get this just right. the fear? that the tile counter top would collapse...



see the shiny new electrical cable? it's rad. it's shiny. it's ours.




this is the circuit breaker box. it's even more rad.

sometimes i sit in the basement and say prayers to it in pig latin.



.
.
.
.
.
.
.

AND finally....the happy couple with the happy dishwasher!





(note: zack was holding up the camera with his tail)

dogs and windows

news flash: zack has a new perch.

watch him watch...

appliance defiance (no frackin' dishwasher will get the best of me!)

picture the following:
Lazy saturday afternoon sunshine bursting through the windows of the the Minty Fresh.
birds are chirping.
zack is staring at the wall.
Our breakfasts are settling in our tummys.
And Tom, the ultimate handyman, arrives at our door with a belt full of tools and more than saws that i have guitars.
The Minty is going to get a dishwasher today.

And so it began, our picture perfect 50's era plywood cabinet (and some of our precious storage space...) was cut away to make room for our sleek and sexy german engineered dish washing cylon!.

hopefully it won't rise up against us.

As we moved forward with the install...i'd like to remind you of three points:
**start big time movie style WWII music**
1. the 1958 era kitchen was not designed for a modern dishwasher.
2. the 2006 dishwasher was not designed for a 1958 kitchen.
3. i was born sometime between the two.
**end big time movie style WWII music**

at the end of day 1...
it became apparent that this was not going to be a "trivial" experience.

zack finally made the leap to myspace...

next to the lobster costume, this is the dorkiest thing i've ever done:
http://www.myspace.com/thezacker

please be his friend.

especially if you're a pig bone or a squirrel.

glue, screws, and folk songs

not much to report this week:

i fixed our dining room table.

i have not hooked up our stereo.

the clown wall paper still freaks me out.

zack likes to eat the bones of other animals.

My dog gets annoyed when I treat him like a stuffed animal. He doesn't like it when I kiss him on his little wrinkled forehead, or when I hug him. He is aloof and catlike, a fancy little horse, and I believe he sees these actions as an affront to his dignity. I believe (and sadly Aa and I have discussed this) that he sees himself as this large, tough-ass wild animal. Not the adorable little fuzzbucket Aa and I see.

I just realized last night when I kissed Zack for the 800th time that he was getting annoyed. How do I know he was he annoyed? He sighed and pushed me away with his front paws. "Dammit woman, I'm trying to sleep after a full day of frolicking and looking impossibly adorable. I know I'm all precious and cuddled up but THAT'S ENOUGH".

That's kind of messed up, that I can love on my *dog* so much that he pushes me away.

house vs. home vs. property vs. me vs. you and your stupid fucking grizzly bear.

few random thoughts here late on a Monday afternoon.

another weekend in the minty with the J and the Zacker and the multitude of H2O molecules that have decided to call a part of our basement their new home. lots of stuff accomplished, lots more to do. how different from the water are we? a lot actually. we've got hair. water doesn't have hair. of course if you're bald, then does that make you water? probably not. i am probably wrong. anyway...

boxes were emptied; books were shelved.

which..btw...you have to wonder how many times I've moved some of my books...and to what end? am i happier because I've kept my 13 year old copy of Electricity and Magnetism? should i be happier? or should i have ditched it years ago? you tell me.

(and what a funny thing to keep around right? it's the LAWS OF PHYSICS. why do i need my own unique copy? shouldn't i be able to derive them from F=ma or perhaps from looking out the window?)

other things...other things.

as noted in J's earlier post...dishwasher should be in this weekend...along with some other electrical goodies...new outside light...few grounded outlets. safety first kids. unless you're buying chocolate flavored meth from the guy down the street, and then well, you're on your own, right?

i like posting. it's fun.

hugs.

the double A.

New appliances are *very* exciting.

We bought a fridge. It's the nicest goddamn fridge I've ever had in a place I've lived ever in my whole life. The freezer's on the bottom and it's a drawer. We had it installed on Thurs and I've spent time every day opening the refrigerator door, looking around inside, and then closing the door. Then I open the freezer drawer, look around inside, and close it. It's...freaking...awesome.

We also bought a dishwasher, and miracle of miracles, just met an electrician today who will help us install it next Saturday (thank Jeebus before Thanksgiving). I am almost speechless-excited about not having to wash dishes anymore. Currently, I'm trying to convince Aa to turn our little broom closet into a bar (inspiration from this awesome place!) And I'm sitting in the bedroom staring at our big closet, thinkin' about some redesign ideas there too. Boy oh boy!

Good Saturday

Finally, all of the teevee-fixing work is done. We now get to really start unpacking and settling into this place -- no more sleeping elsewhere to let the floors be re-done, to let re-painting happen. Yesterday, we both had the day off from work and we started cleaning out the basement, getting rid of crap we've been carting around with us since Chicago, since before Chicago. It felt almost giddy it was so liberating.

Today, I'm lying in bed cuddling with the dog, listening to Aa do dishes in the kitchen. It's really nice. We're home.

The rain is gone in more ways than one

So our basement definitely leaks. Not a lot, but enough. And any leaking is too much in a basement. So that will be an expensive pain in the ass. Thankfully, the rain has stopped. In fact fittingly the sun was out this morning. Nice work, God.

Yes, it's exciting that the Democrats have won so many races across the country and have taken control of the House -- possibly the Senate. The question on many analysts, voters, and pundits' lips now is: what are they going to do next? I have a suggestion: they should fix our leaky basement. I don't want the government in my bedroom or body, but they can totally get all in my basement.

One more thing about the elections and then this blog will return to its actual topic, which is The Minty: I know many people who are just plain old thrilled about the election results, and downright gleeful about Rumsfeld stepping down. But I would like to offer this: despite the fact that Democrats won all over the country, this election was still about the Republicans. The next election will also be about the Republicans unless the Democrats get an actual identity real quick-like. This is not a Democratic victory. It is a not-Republican victory. Democrats are still not framing any political discourse in this country. Still. Fucking STILL. That better change or this euphoria so many of my friends are feeling? So, so short-lived.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

12 years too long.

now the dems need to actually do something.

boxes are death

so it ends up that we have a lot of stuff. some might call it crap. i might call it crap. in fact, i'm calling it crap. things that were moved here from chicago to seattle. wallingford to fremont, and now, fremont to ballard.

we keep moving west. i can't wait to live in korea. should be nice. i love the food.

anyway, as to my point: we have stuff that we don't need, don't want and it's wearing us down.

SO...this friday we will rent a van and load it up with everything we don't need anymore (sans the guitars and a few books and more than a few uncle tupelo tshirts...) and drop it all of at good will. screw craigslist...i'm sure we could make more than a few dollars with our old stuff...but so be it. it's better to get rid of it than to try and "sell" it.

i will, however, be keeping all of my old ATM receipts neatly tucked away in random plastic bags hidden stochastically around the house.

Let's get on building that ark now

So when we were thinking about buying The Minty, we noticed there was a crack in the basement. All of the documentation said that there was really only leaking during heavy rains. "Heavy rains" are really not that frequent here, and while we knew that fixing the crack was important, we also figured we probably had a little time. We negotiated to get some money to fix the crack, but then the teevee show happened. So we haven't fixed it yet. Most of our stuff is in the basement right now too; repainting and redoing floors has meant we haven't been able to unpack much.

And now, BEHOLD! Rains unlike the Seattle area has seen for the last decade. Yay!

In other, but related, news: I've decided it's time to buy a raincoat, after 5+ years of living in the Northwest. Maybe we can use Aa's old raincoat, which is what I've been wearing, to seal up that crack in the basement.

And finally today, I've discovered the most miserable part of my day is dragging my extremely rain-averse dog outside in the morning, yanking him along on his leash, begging him to poop. Regardless of the outcome it sucks. Doing it feels pathetic and cruel, but not making him poop and leaving him all day feels petty and cruel. So it's a real win-win for me.

Haters

So Aa was the one who was there this AM when the painters and the carpenter came. It sounds like they were kind of grumpy and mean. They said we were the first people they had to do corrective work for. (We wouldn't have asked if it hadn't been repeatedly offered.) The carpenter called the shelves his "babies" and wouldn't let us keep them (we just wanted to reconfigure them to be a little more practical).

Now, why does this bother me so much, that they were crappy to Aa? Because I like people to like me. And I like people to like Aa. And this means that those guys were probably talking shit about us. And even though I totally talk shit about other people (I would say "I try not to" but it is kind of fun), it...bothers...me...that these dudes talked shit about us.

But actually, now that I admit that I like talking about other people, why shouldn't they have a little fun talking about us? Huh. I feel better now. Wow. Thanks, blog.

argh the painter guy is coming today to change some of the things the teevee ppl did but we've been living with stuff for a while and now we kind of like it, argh argh argh [pouds head against desk]

[secret to Kristy: I like the green too! But not on *all* the walls.]

Puff The Magic Earl Gray Lover

Tomorrow the painter guy comes back to paint over some of the crazier stuff (mainly the metallic ceilings). Also the shelving thingie is coming down, which I must admit I'm sort of bummed about. It's kind of cool. But as Aa keeps saying, way impractical. And we don't have the room for impractical coolness, not on that scale. Sigh.

In other news: I have gone off coffee for the second time in my life. (I am sucking down tea like...um...a thing that sucks down a great deal of tea. Perhaps an imaginary thing. A unicorn. A unicorn that really, really loves tea.) Today is day 1. I have a headache and my eyes water periodically and I basically hate my coffee-drinking colleagues. How much coffee gets drunk in a public radio newsroom in the Pacific Northwest? I bet you know the answer to that question.

zack the lobster (or how i crossed the line...)

J and I crossed the line of dog ownership. or rather, i crossed the line when i walked into the pet store and asked "do you have any dog costumes?"

someone should have stopped me.

but without further ado...i give thee...

ZACK THE LOBSTER!!!

My baby's growing up

Zack peed in the backyard this morning! OMG he peed in the backyard! we didn't even have to go back there with him, he just trotted on back there and went for it! He's becoming a man-dog (as much as a fixed dog can, anyway). I'm so proud.

laundry chute

i'd just like to point out that having a laundry chute is going to save me thousands, if not millions, of dollars in uneaten Smart Wool socks. too bad for zack. good times for my feet.

Unpacking is haaarrrrd

So, we've been unpacking a lot. And you know what? It kind of sucks! It's really hard!

You know what's not hard? Losing perspective. Seriously. So we have to unpack and get rid of a lot of stuff. So be it. But professional people packed and moved us? For free? We're really lucky.

Also, Zack update: he won't even pee in the backyard now. And he sticks to us like glue. Man. I think he's really freaked out by the change. He follows me everywhere. He even sits in the bathroom with me when I shower in the morning! Poor little man.

Kermit the Asshole

So on the day we taped the part of the teevee show where we're shown the pile of stuff that "goes in storage for a year" (read: goes in our basement), Aa spent some time talking about his Kermit the Frog doll and how much he liked it. And, well, look at the color of our living room. Roger the Ruddy painted it Kermit green. Huh.

Also, there's been some concern that Aa and I are going to look like big old jerks on this show once it airs. Which, uh, we may. As my sister told me the night of the reveal when I called her to tell her how upset we were, "Just so you know, nobody likes the people who hate the house on those shows". Which was really blunt but probably true (she's gifted like that).

Sleeping in the place we pay for

The last couple of nights we've slept in the Minty (we couldn't sleep there till Saturday night b/c the paint fumes were so bad). Zack's taken an inaugural pee in the backyard. (I applauded. It's a long story that I can bore you with sometime over some beers, but suffice it to say that our dog is kind of a little fussbudget and doesn't like peeing just anywhere.) This morning I used our cutey little Italian espresso maker. The colors are sort of growing on us. The bordello mirror is down and the Zackskin rug is out of the bedroom. We've unpacked the bathroom and kitchen. We do laundry all the time. And for two nights in a row now, we've stood in the middle of the floor and jumped up and down with our shoes on -- because we have no downstairs neighbor to worry about.

and now for the pics........

this is what it looks like now...
(with pictures of zack!!!)
-- AA

My Superbowl Shuffle will set you free

Here's the greatest part of the whole reality teevee experience. The host of Move This House is really good friends with Willie Gault, formerly of the Chicago Bears, and quite possibly my favorite football player of all time. He took ballet! By his own admission, he practices all day and dances all night! He was the most graceful runner EVER! So she called him and let me talk to him. HOLY SHIT! I called him "Mr. Gault" and got choked up but refrained from telling him I named my Chicago Bears teddy bear after him when I was little. Yeah.

So, I have now been rendered stupid by three celeb interactions in my life.

1. Salman Rushdie
2. Jeff Tweedy
3. Speedy Fucking Willie

Zackskin rug

Pictures will be posted by tomorrow. Promise! For now though, let me say that once I saw the house, I realized why I felt dread. And then I was like, oh duh, of course. They don't design for people. They design for television! This explains the garish, inspired-by-highlighter colors and almost funny-huge chandelier dangling in our wee dining room. (So small they crammed our big stupid dining room table in there BUT DIDN'T HAVE ROOM FOR CHAIRS.)

Particularly gruesome -- the cowhide rug looked almost exactly like they skinned a large version of my dog and laid it on the bedroom floor. Hey!

(update: Roger the Ruddy apologized for the rug. That was nice.)

Best quote:

Roger the Ruddy: "I wanted to make it rock, since you're in a rock band"
Aa: "I'm not in this kind of rock band."

horribly wrong

those are the only two words to describe what has happened to our nice cute little house.

we didn't even get to sleep in our house for the 1st night because of the fumes from the oil based paint. OIL BASED PAINT! crazy.

cow skinned rug?

mirror'd wall?

green living room?

copper ceiling?

silver ceiling?

who the fuck paints the ceiling metallic colors? not me. NOT ME.

where do I start? oh yeah. I already did.

what was going to be fun has become very very dumb.

over and out and very upset.

AA

Next stop, The Surreal Life

So today is "the big reveal". Aa and I go to the Minty and check out what the designer dude has done. Last night Aa said he woke up in a cold sweat, fearful that the teevee people painted the ceilings (which we DO NOT want). I have used the word "weird" to describe this whole television thing so many times. But I don't know how else to describe it! It's really fucking weird.

I'll write more about how strange Tuesday was later. That's when we were first taped and had to interact with the tiny, beautiful, heavily be-makeupped host and the designer, who I've been calling Roger the Ruddy. But here's the main takeaway: I thought this whole thing was about us, and I was relieved of that misconception during the taping on Tuesday. This is so totally not about us. This is about Roger the Ruddy and Tanya the Be-makeupped. Aa and I are essentially talking props that Roger and Tanya react to. We just go where we're told and then say some things and make some faces. It doesn't matter too much what we do or what faces we make, either.

Tonight we sleep for the first time in this house we bought. I do wonder if it'll feel like we're guests in someone else's place though. I bet it will.

SUPERSTAR!

Yesterday, the television people called me and said they didn't need to film me. But they did need me to unpack some of the books and paintings and decorative-thingies I'd already packed and put them out, to create the illusion that we hadn't been packing and that we lived there all normal and non-packing-like. So I did, and cleaned a lot, and then got the hell out of there for a few hours. But I did get to briefly meet the extraordinarily brawny and ruddy Roger Hazard, who is designing our house. Zack the dog met him too, and did exactly what he does with everyone he meets: he sniffed Roger's knees and then stared up at him for a while. Tomorrow they film me, and I've been told they're going to try and gin up some conflict b/t me and Roger. I know how to fake-cry, so I intend to use that skill if necessary.

Today's a strange day. I feel a little like a kid before Christmas, but I also feel some dread and kind of groundless. For the next four days, I'm staying at a friend's. Last night was my last night in that wonderful, dumpy apartment we loved so much. Aa spent his last night there before leaving for tour without even really realizing it. And since the television is packing and moving us, I have no sense of closure or anything at our apartment. It's a weird sort of limbo I'm in today.

DEFCON hot for teacher

There's gonna be footage of Aa on the road in this. Just found out today. KICK. ASS.

You know what I actually forgot about in all this other madness (aside from teevee stuff, I work at a public radio station and we're in pledge drive which means crazier than ever work hours)? We bought a house. We have, like, a mortgage and stuff now. Weird.

Also weird (and totally off-topic for this blog): this article about an acting teacher at the college I went to. I never had him for an acting class, but of course I knew him. And Aa had him and really liked / respected him. What's weird is not necessarily the actions of the professor, but the reaction. Of course he made out with some college boys. Teachers and students messed around in the theater program I was in. I suspect this is not unique to my college experience either. I thought it was just part of the curriculum - read too much Sam Shepard, read FAR too much David Mamet, surround yourself with other deluded kids and make VERY IMPORTANT ART together, drink as much as your little body can take, do as many drugs as you can get your hands on, and get a little inappropriate with a professor at a party or a bar (or after class or...whenever). All of these stupid actions, all of this drama, all of these hangovers, were supposed to be the "real world experience" that allowed us to become adults and, uh, prepare us to go out in the actual world.

So, college man-boy who got one planted on him, think about this whole experience as an opportunity. You can grow and learn about yourself and become stronger from this whole sad episode. And someday when you work at State Farm, you'll have an awesome story to tell your buddies over smothered chicken and beers at Bennigan's.

DEFCON uh...

Just talked to Aa, who's on the road w/ the band. He asked me to wear his band t-shirt during filming because that's what the girlfriend of the lead singer of The Shins did when she was a finalist on America's Next Top Model. Then Chutes Too Narrow came out. Then The Shins became America's Most-Loved Band.

It's worth pointing out that since I am *not* a finalist on America's Next Top Model, nobody is going to be staring at my boobs to figure out what the shirt covering them says. It's also worth pointing out that I don't think a home-improvement reality show on the poor man's Bravo gets the audience that America's Next Top Model does. Nonetheless, I will wear the shirt because I love Aa and he asked me to. And it's a cute shirt. And average-looking girls should try to use teevee to promote their boyfriends' bands too. Maybe I will make a little one for Zack the dog and he can wear one too.



IN OTHER NEWS: met w/ the moving guy yesterday. He seems really nice and responsible. And his company packs and moves everything. Everything! Even all the crap in our basement that we haven't looked at in three years. Hehe.

Filming starts Sunday. That's two days from today for those of you not keeping track.

I'm kind of ready to be in the house now. I'm tired of waiting for the next stage.

I'm also tired of people asking me to take care of one more thing.

I'm also tired of sarcasm.

DEFCON spaz

So yesterday I watched an episode of the teevee show Aa and I are going to be on. And I had a complete...panic...attack. Seriously. I was totally freaked out. The episode, see, featured this lady who had a lot of stuff. And the big bear designer guy called her out for having a bunch of junk. He basically accused her of neglecting her daughter and her homelife in order to collect all the crap she had. This bothered me. The show has to have some conflict in it, and the conflict will easily come from the part in the show where bear designer tells the people what of their stuff is being banished to storage.

I don't want to be called out on teevee for having a lot of stuff. And also it bothers me that I will be expected to defend Aa's stuff, since he'll still be gone. I probably overreacted a little -- I yelled at my friend R who was over, and then called my parents and yelled at them for a while -- but I'm now nervous in a way I wasn't before. And I'm a tad bit obsessed with trying to figure out a way to game this and control the outcome to get what I want. It's amazing - 48 hours ago I was crowing about not having to pack or move our stuff. Now I want more. I want them to re-landscape the backyard and get us a snazzy new couch and build us a loft! And I want to not look like a total idiot on this show. And I want ten million dollars. And some diamonds. And a pony.

"And watch, here's the part where the dog stares at the host for a full minute!"

So it would seem that we're now definitively, irrevocably Americans. We're going to be on a reality television show. In this show, all our stuff will be packed. And moved from the apartment to the Minty. And a designer dude will, uh, design some rooms in the new house. And also go through our stuff and tell us what we can keep and put the rest in storage. This knowledge, that we're going to be on television (well, cable) has been rattling around in my head since I found out yesterday. And although I am still somewhat skeptical of the whole thing (I know teevee lies; please see Gene Hackman entry, below), I really only have one thing to say about this whole weird turn of events. And that one thing is, holy shit.